Monday, February 12, 2024

The Silent Struggle: Why Friends Sometimes Don't Reach Out

In the midst of life's trials and tribulations, there's a common thread that often goes unnoticed—the silent struggle of those closest to us. Recently, I found myself in a peculiar situation where two of my dearest friends faced challenging times yet chose to suffer in silence rather than reaching out for support. Initially perplexed and somewhat offended, I couldn't help but wonder why they would withhold their burdens from me, the self-proclaimed "fixer" with a metaphorical cape tucked away in the closet.

Their explanation was simple yet profound: they believed I was doing exceptionally well and feared burdening me with their troubles. In their eyes, I appeared to be navigating life smoothly, and they didn't want to disrupt that facade or add unnecessary weight to my shoulders. It was a gesture of protection, albeit misguided.

At first, I grappled with feelings of rejection and misunderstanding. Why would they assume I couldn't handle their struggles? Wasn't that what friendship was all about—supporting each other through thick and thin? However, upon deeper reflection, I realized that their actions weren't a reflection of my inadequacy as a friend; rather, they were a testament to their selflessness and concern for my well-being. (See, I have grown. 😉)

In our society, there's an unspoken expectation that friends should always be there for each other, ready to swoop in and fix whatever problems arise. As a self-proclaimed fixer, I've fallen victim to this mindset more times than I care to admit. I wear it well. But what if our highest and best purpose as friends isn't always about fixing each other's problems? What if it's about something far more profound—acknowledging each other's struggles, offering unconditional support, and respecting each other's autonomy? It took a couple of conversations with Wendy to come to terms with this. I kept saying "If they have and arrow like ME in their quiver, why not use it?" I didn't understand.

I wish I had taken a more reflective approach on the the front end. In hindsight, I realized that by focusing solely on my desire to "fix" my friends' problems, I was inadvertently undermining their agency and discounting their ability to navigate their own challenges. I failed to see that sometimes, the greatest gift we can offer each other is the freedom to confront our demons in our own way and on our own terms.

This "Ah-ha" moment prompted a shift in perspective. Instead of lamenting my friends' reluctance to confide in me, I chose to honor their decision and channel my energy into creating an environment where they felt comfortable sharing their struggles without fear of judgment or undue pressure. I learned to listen without offering unsolicited advice, to empathize without trying to "fix," and to simply be there—no cape required. I learned to speak the words "How can I help you the most right now?".

The truth is, we all have our moments of vulnerability and weakness, and it's during these times that our friendships are truly put to the test. But true friendship isn't about fixing each other's problems or always being the hero—it's about showing up, being present, and loving each other unconditionally, flaws and all. To me, that's being a true hero. They say that a true friend is someone that knows everything about you and likes you anyway. I believe this whole heartedly.

So to my dear friends who chose to suffer in silence, know this: your struggles are not a burden but an opportunity for growth, and your strength in facing them alone is nothing short of admirable. And to all those who, like me, have a tendency to don the cape of the fixer, remember this: sometimes, the greatest act of kindness is simply being there, capeless and vulnerable, ready to listen, support, and love without reservation.

I'm still keeping the cape handy though - jus' sayin'. ❤️😉


Friday, February 9, 2024

"Be the energy you want to attract"

I was asked to further explain the quote I posted yesterday. I like to post positive, motivational stuff in the wee hours of the morning. 😊 The quote "Be the energy you want to attract" is often interpreted within the context of the law of attraction and personal development. Further explained:

Law of Attraction: The law of attraction suggests that like attracts like, meaning the energy you put out into the world is what you'll receive in return. If you put out positive energy, you'll attract positive experiences and people into your life, whereas negative energy will attract negativity. Once I decided I was going to push out positive vibes I seemed to get that in return. We have a CHOICE about how we interact with people. Choose positivity and see what happens.

Personal Energy: Your energy refers to your overall vibe, attitude, and demeanor. It encompasses your thoughts, feelings, and actions. If you want to attract certain qualities or experiences into your life, you must TRULY embody those qualities yourself. It's not easy - it takes work. Working with a mindset coach helped me tremendously here. 

Self-Reflection: This encourages self-reflection and self-awareness. It prompts you to examine the energy you're currently projecting and consider whether it aligns with what you truly desire in life. If you want to attract love, success, abundance, or happiness, you must first cultivate those qualities within yourself. Many people have gone through something major and can't seem to get out of that rut. Becoming aware of it is the first step!

Authenticity: Being the energy you want to attract also emphasizes authenticity. It's not about pretending (don't be a fake) to be someone you're not, but rather about embodying the best version of yourself and aligning your actions and intentions with your desires. It takes work and consistency to pull this off.

Mindset Shift: This quote inspire a mindset shift (my goal here 😉) from a passive to an active approach to life. Instead of waiting for positive things to come your way, you take ownership of your energy and actively cultivate the experiences you desire. Take action, move forward, disrupt the pattern.

Positive Influence: By being the energy you want to attract, you not only improve your own life but also positively influence the environment and people around you. Your positive energy can uplift others and create a ripple effect of positivity. I have seen this first hand in just the way I go about life. When I do something epic like climb Mt Washington in the winter, I like to post it on social - not to boast, but to inspire someone else to take action. That's positive influence and It's also my way of being the energy I want to attract. 

I hope this serves as a reminder to take responsibility for the energy you bring into the world and to consciously cultivate the qualities and experiences you desire in your life. People are watching, make sure they see good stuff. 😊

Sunday, January 28, 2024

Everything You Need Is Already In You.


Just some thoughts from The Cockpit this morning. 

I’m up early again, working on World Domination (😄).  I decide to flip back through my notes from the bootcamp I went to in Vegas in October. Here are some things I wrote as I listened to the speakers. 

I get to choose how I speak to myself. Have you ever caught yourself driving down the road just ripping into yourself? I heard it said the other day "be careful how you talk to yourself because your body can't tell the difference”. I think there's something to this. I've been catching myself lately, not giving myself slack. Try giving yourself a little bit of grace and understand that Rome wasn't built in a day.

Trusting the process is not enough. You must ATTACK the process. We hear this a lot..."Trust the process". Is there some magical level of success at the end of trusting the process? I don't think so. I think you need to get up every day and go right at it. Take action. I am a “shoot, aim, ready” guy, not a “ready, aim, shoot”, guy. Most times this approach serves me well. I don't wait. I make things happen. When I DO wait, I find that I am disappointed to see an opportunity slip by.

You will never rise above the level of your health. I believe it all starts with your health. It doesn't make sense to be worldly successful in business if you don't have a body to enjoy it with. Do what you need to do on a daily basis to make sure that when you reach your level of success, whatever that is, you actually can enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Narrative determines outcome. We control our own narrative. As I mentioned above, how we speak to ourselves can make a big difference. Rewrite your own narrative if you need to. Say it out loud and listen to what it sounds like. Mine lately has been "I am becoming a sought after Speaker and Coach”. Bold? You’re damn right. If I can't say it out loud and believe it, how in the world would I expect anyone else to?

Feedback - What CHAMPIONS eat for breakfast. I love feedback. To me it's just a faster way to get better. It can be a little bit rough on the ego at times but it's good healthy exercise for the mind to be able to listen to feedback. Take it all in, decide what of it you are going to use to get better and get rid of the rest. 

Own your mind, control the controllable. This can be a daily battle, and it should be if you're doing it right. A lot of the guys that I interact with these days start their day with some gratitude, some meditation, or some journaling. I believe that gets your day off on the right foot. My routine seems to be to get in "the cockpit", My corner of the couch where I can reach my coffee, open up the laptop and enjoy my most creative part of the day. It's LITERALLY what I'm doing right now. This sets up my day and gets me off on the right foot.

Start being honest with yourself. I talk a lot about this with my clients. If we are not truthful with ourselves, we can't really be truthful with anyone else. Being transparent and vulnerable is not easy. But it is a necessity when you are looking to develop personally. You have to be brutally honest. It's not always easy to hear but you have to do it if you're going to grow.

Keep the main thing the main thing. This one is hard for me. I like to do a lot of things. Sometimes we need to break it down and just run the lap that we are on. It can be as simple as "what are the five things I need to accomplish today?”. I think it was Tim Grover that said "become a master of the average”. In other words, let's do the basics well.

The PEAK of your productivity is the PEAK of your vulnerability. In cycling, they call this "being on the rivet". Have you ever seen a cyclist going really hard? To be “on the rivet” is an old cycling term meaning giving it full exertion, almost to the point of breaking. It derives from the days when riders used riveted leather saddles, and with intense effort, the hips slide forward, leaving the cyclist's posterior straddling the front rivet of the saddle. This is also where the cyclist is a half step from “blowing up” - being done. Long winded example but you get the drift. We are most vulnerable when we are “on the rivet”. Be careful how much time you spend there. 

Be different. Disrupt your industry. I heard marketing/digital media expert Chans Weber say this. So often we operate within the boundaries of what we feel are the norm for our particular business. Don't be afraid to be different. Be disruptive. Shake things up. A lot of great things were accomplished by people that said "I'm not doing it that way”.

What is REQUIRED is not enough. You must do The UNREQUIRED. I hear this one a lot from Ben Newman. Ben is one of my coaches and was most recently named one of the Top 5 Mindset & Performance Coaches in the World by USA Today alongside Ed Mylett, Brendon Burchard, Tim Grover, and Mel Robbins. Ben completes a workout that he calls “The Unrequired” every day - no matter what. It gets done. However, he makes the point that you can't do The Unrequired without first doing The Required. Do what you need to do, but we don't get a medal for that. Then do more. 

What is the single most important daily discipline for me, and on a scale of 1-10, how intentional about that have I been over the last 30 days? I also heard this one from Ben. I think if you focused on nothing else each day, but your single, most important daily discipline, you would probably crush life. Asking yourself how committed to that you are on a scale of 1 to 10 only increases the effectiveness. Note, see the above paragraph on being honest with yourself.

I get to design my life. True enough, right? You might think you have limitations on how you can live life, but when it really comes down to it, you are the only one in control. If that's not the case, something major needs to change. You are either in the wrong relationship or you have the wrong people around you. Do an audit, take stock, find out if you are the one that's really in control.

What does my very best look like? How can I add 10%? I like this one. Again, you need to be honest with yourself here. What is your very best? What does 10% more look like? What would it take to add 10%? Write it down. Look at it. Leave it somewhere where you can see it.

Do something every day to connect with someone on a deeper level. This might be as simple as stopping to chat with somebody in the grocery store line. You never know how you can affect someone's day. You can also do this with family. Are people hearing enough from you?

When you love yourself, you give other people permission to love you. I believe you get back more of what you push out. If people see you being kind to yourself and giving yourself grace, you will probably get that in return. If you are always dumping on yourself and hating on yourself, you can expect that in return as well.

Your hard work puts you where your blessings can find you. Funny how that happens. I often say "the harder I work, the luckier I get". But I don't think luck has anything to do with it. I just try to keep on doing good things and son of a gun if good things don't happen. I can't explain it and I'm not gonna try.

People are watching you. I am reminded of this every time I think nobody's reading this stuff or paying attention to my regular posts on social media. Just when I think no one's listening, someone will tap me on the shoulder and say hey, “I really like your stuff” or “keep going”. Many people watch and never comment, but every once in a while, I'll get a private Facebook message from someone and that little bit of fuel keeps me going.

If it doesn’t GROW, it GOES. You could apply this to most anything. Finance, personal relationships, personal disciplines. If it isn't on an upward trajectory, get rid of it. With regard to the personal relationships, that doesn't mean you nuke every relationship that isn't growing but it might mean you put it in a different box for the moment. Pour into the things that are feeding you back.

Grind. But do so with a purpose. How many times if you ask someone how it's going and the reply is "busy busy". Make sure you're "busy" isn't just chaos. Grind with a purpose, grind with the direction, just don't grind aimlessly.

Who has the keys to your heart and shouldn’t? Get rid of the keys and make it a combination. I heard this one from Tim Grover. It was kind of deep. He was asking who we are letting into our lives and how easy are we making it. He encouraged us to change it to a combination instead of a key. Make it harder for people to get into your inner circle. A bit of a pre-qualification process if you will. Know what the criteria is and stick to it. As I've gotten older, I feel like I have begun to do this organically anyway. I have less time and desire for anything that isn't moving the needle for me.

Everything I need is already in me. This is probably one of my favorite “Ben" quotes. I've also heard it said that "sometimes we ask advice about things we already know the answers to". We are smarter than we give ourselves credit for. And we give others too much credit! We know what's best for ourselves, but sometimes we look to others for validation. Stop. Sit down, take a good look at where you are and where do you want to go. Outline the steps to get there. Then break those steps down to daily tasks and disciplines. And then, go forth and conquer.

Thanks for reading, this started out as a short list of things to think about that I was planning to post on my group coaching Facebook Page called The Peak. But I decided to expand on it and share it to a larger audience. I hope you enjoyed it and got something out of it. As always, I am happy to have a discussion with you if you find yourself struggling with life or business. Getting Summit Coaching & Consulting up and running over the past year has been a blast. I am taking on one on one clients as well as membership into our “Peak” group coaching environment. I am also starting another mastermind group in February. I'd love to tell you more about it. If you think it makes sense to have a conversation and you can schedule a call at the link below. Have a great day!!

Click HERE to schedule a call.  

Saturday, January 6, 2024

The Evolution of The Edge


Over the past few years, I have attended some great in person events. Mostly on the construction industry side, but a couple of them have been more on the personal development side and digging into being a better you. In the process, an idea began to form. I could see myself putting on my own event someday here in southern Maine. About that same time I began to get the itch to return to coaching. I had done some triathlon coaching in the past, but this was going to be different. I was interacting with a lot of entrepreneurs, business owners, younger people, struggling with business and/or life. It seemed like a natural to jump in and try to help. Couple that with my tendency to be the "gatherer of people" and all of a sudden you've got the makings of a budding community. 

A year ago I decided to stop ignoring the itch and I created Summit Coaching and Consulting. I did some marketing and let people know that I was available as a Coach. In the amount of time it took for somebody to watch my first video, the phone rang. I was off and running. There was a new pep in my step. I finally had some oxygen. I was helping people. It felt good. I poured every nickel that I made coaching back into personal development and becoming a better Coach. I started a Facebook page, a group, The Summit. I invited people to join. I got uncomfortable and put it out there. We are now at 690 members. I kept podcasting. I blogged when I could and I continued to do what I needed to do to make sure my construction business kept rolling. Contracting paid the bills, coaching, filled the cup.

The support and encouragement I received from the Summit community, and my extended network of friends and business associates was nothing short of amazing. It fueled me. 2023 was a great year in that regard. I was having lunch with a friend of mine this past week, and he said "you've never been afraid to make a change". I guess he's right, and there IS a change happening, a transition, and evolution if you will. I think that just because we're doing one thing right now it doesn't mean we have to do that forever. I think it takes a tremendous amount of courage step into the unknown, to put yourself out there, and just not really know if it's going to work. It's funny how opportunities present. Once you decide that you are going all-in on something, doors start opening. I think that too many people sit on the sidelines and say "what if?". And they go through life, wondering what it would have been like to do what they were really put on this earth to do.

I'm 54 years old. I feel like I'm late to the game of doing what serves me. Oddly, I stumbled onto that by serving others. Funny how that works. I like to get up early, grab the laptop, a huge coffee, and sit on the couch. I guess that's where I am most creative. I guess I have a "never finished" mentality where I can always be doing something better or improving in some way. 

I like quotes. One of the favorite gifts I was able to give for Christmas was a wall hanging of Teddy Roosevelt's "The Man In The Arena" quote to my brother Dave. If you guys think I go hard, follow him around for a week. Anyway, back to quotes, I usually will drop a couple of good quotes on my Thursday night call with our paid coaching group called The Peak. The one I have liked the most lately is "sit with the Warriors, the conversation is different". So I would say that would sum up my last couple of years, I have been sitting with the Warriors. The conversation IS different. I've surround myself with people that don't settle for anything less than my best. And I've tried to be there for other people in that same way. In the process I think we've all gotten better.

And then there's that "putting on my own event" thing. It kept coming back to my mind. There are two ways to go at something. One is, "Ready, Aim, Shoot", the other is "Shoot, Aim, Ready". The former is probably the more prudent approach. I tend to roll with the latter. An example of that is my podcast. I decided one day that I was going to create a podcast and I did it. My goal was to do one per week. It's been almost 2 years and I have 43 episodes. Did I hit my goal? Nope. Have I done 43 podcast episodes and impacted tons of people? YUP! And we tweak the process and we adjust and we continue to improve. But I am not sitting on the sidelines saying "man I'm thinking about starting a podcast". I took action, I did it. It wasn't perfect and it still isn't. It is definitely a work in progress. But I digress....Back to the event. 

Deploying the Shoot, Aim, Ready approach, I created The Edge Event. I got some great speakers lined up and I secured a venue. I have worked at pulling something together in a couple months that probably warrants at least six. I'm not an event planner. I've just gotten a bunch of great people together in the interest of helping others. Leveling people up. Bringing them along. I'm excited about it. We are one week out. Could I use more time? Absolutely. But the date doesn't move. The tickets are sold and the people are planning on coming. I couldn't be more excited. This one will not be perfect. I will learn. But the next one will be a little bit better and the one after that will be even better. There are people flying in from different areas of the country, and I couldn't be more humbled that someone would get on a plane and fly to Maine to attend an event that I put together. We are doing this. 

When I was younger, and I was working at a millwork company, I went to a one day event specific to the industry. There was a lunch and I was sitting across the table from an older guy. Looking back, he was probably the age I am now, and at the time I was about 20. He said something that has stuck with me since then. He said "you know, for as long as I've been in business, I've never missed a chance to attend an event. I went even when I couldn't afford it, and I went even when I didn't have the time. I always found a WAY". I was young, so I didn't even know what that kind of thinking was all about. But it stuck with me that if this guy that clearly ran a successful business, had that strong an opinion about getting together with like-minded people, then there must be something to it. I don't know why it resonated with me so much at the time, but I guess it was one of those moments where someone says something and you just tuck it away not really knowing that you're gonna need it later in life.

The Edge event is on Friday January 12th. A week day. People work. Life is going on. I know. But let me ask you a few questions. When was the last time you invested in YOU? making a better YOU? What is your plan for 2024? Will it be the same as 2023? Will you be happy with that?  I challenge YOU. Come and invest in YOU. If you haven't signed up, I would love it if you did. Come and spend a few hours listening to some folks that have dealt with adversity and prevailed, people that operate at a high level. Come listen to what makes them tick. You'll definitely take SOMETHING home with you that will stick with you like it did me years ago. Come find YOUR edge. I promise you won't be disappointed. I don't think we're ever done working on ourselves. I continue to look for opportunities to do that and I'm hopeful this will be that for a lot of people. And hey, who doesn't want to take a Friday off?

I hope to see you on the 12th? Tickets are available at the link below! Come To The Edge!!!



Friday, November 10, 2023

The Importance of Building a Support System


I was leading my weekly team call on Zoom last night with a bunch of my Summit Coaching clients and friends. The topic for the call was "The Importance of Building a Support System". We had a robust talk about it so I thought I would turn it into a blog post and try to extend the message to a few more people. 

A good support system is critical for just about anything we are trying to tackle in life. You've heard the saying "It takes a village". I believe that applies to way more than just raising a family. Whether you are an entrepreneur, employee, mom, dad, brother or sister, life will be better for you if you have your PEOPLE - the group that you reach out to when the shit hits the proverbial fan. 

During our call tonight I outlined five different ways that having a good support system can benefit you.

1.    Emotional Support:

A support system provides a network of friends, family, or colleagues who can offer emotional support during challenging times.They provide a safe space for you to express your feelings, thoughts, and concerns, reducing feelings of loneliness and isolation. Have a shitty day? It's nice to have someone that'll just listen - not necessarily try to fix. 

2.    Stress Reduction:

This is a big one for me. Stress can be a killer. A strong support system can help you manage and reduce stress. By sharing your burdens with supportive individuals, you can alleviate the emotional weight of stressful situations.

3.    Enhanced Resilience:

One day at a time right? Supportive relationships can increase your resilience in the face of adversity. When you face setbacks or obstacles, a support system can bolster your confidence and help you bounce back more effectively. And remember, it's not how many times you fall down, it's how many times you get back up that matters.

4.    Problem Solving:

Sometimes we can't see the forest for the trees. Your support system can offer diverse perspectives and solutions to problems you encounter. They can act as a sounding board for ideas, provide guidance, and offer valuable insights to help you make informed decisions. Having a variety of people you can consult can make all the difference.

5.    Professional Growth:  A support system within your professional network can lead to career opportunities and development. Mentors, colleagues, and industry connections can offer guidance, introduce you to relevant opportunities, and help you advance in your career. Opportunity comes in strange packaging sometimes. Having the right people in your corner can expose you to some things that you might otherwise miss out on.

A strong support system not only enhances your emotional well-being but also contributes to your resilience, problem-solving abilities, and professional growth. It is an invaluable resource for navigating life's challenges and pursuing your goals. 

OK, now that we know what a strong support system can do for us, let's talk about a few ways to build our own. Here are some things to consider when putting together YOUR support system. I call them "The Seven G's"

1.    Goals. It always comes back to goals with me doesn't it? lol. But seriously, without a clearly defined set of goals, how can you put together an effective support system? So let's make sure those goals are specific, measurable and time-bound. Getting super clear on your goals will help you assemble the right support system. 

2.    Gravitate. Move toward people that share your vision. Surrounding yourself with like minded people who understand your journey is key. On a professional level this might mean joining a networking group, attending events or leveraging online platforms to meet like-minded individuals. I always say that you are what you surround yourself with. This definitely comes into play when putting together your support system. 

3.    Give and Take. It's been said that there are givers and takers in this world. The takers eat better but the givers SLEEP better. Be a giver. It's amazing what a little reciprocity will do for you. I believe that we tend to get back what we push out. Try it and see. Offering support to others can strengthen your own network.

4.    Be Generous. Coach John Wooden said "You can't truly have a great day until you have done something for someone else without expectation of something in return". Offer your expertise. Support others. Pure and simple generosity can have a positive impact on building your support system. 

5.    Genuine Connections. It's important that these relationships are authentic. One of the ways to ensure that there is authenticity in the relationship is through transparency and vulnerability. We can't help one another if we don't know what the whole deal is. That's why it's important to have trust and know that when you share something with someone in your support system it stays between the two of you. Through active listening and staying engaged, you can build some genuine relationships that will serve you well.

6.    Growth Mindset. This is a non-negotiable. People in your support system need to have a growth mindset, as do you. This will help discussions stay on the positive side. You want people in your circle that will call you on your shit. I have people that say to me "well, that's just sounds like a bunch of excuses, let's talk about what the real issue is". When you have people like that in your life, you are automatically held to a higher standard. As I mentioned before, it is hard to do this thing called life by yourself. Get your people, vocalize your issues and lean in. You'll be surprised how much better you'll feel. Seek out opportunities for growth, whether it be industry events, personal development outings, or just plain being around people who are in a growth mode. We are never done.

7.    Gratitude. It's important to regularly acknowledge the people that help you. Be grateful. Show appreciation. It's not hard and it goes a long way. It doesn't have to be a grand gesture. Just something simple. Things that I regularly say are "I appreciate you", "Thanks for the effort", "Thanks for all that you do". And the toughest one... "I LOVE YOU". I tell my best friends that all the time and (shocker) no one comes and collects my man card afterward either. 

So there you have it. As I mentioned, we had a good talk about this stuff and everyone was able to chime in on what their own support system looks like and where it needs work. Audit your own support system. Write down who these people are and what they bring to the table. Are they adding to the equation or taking away? Both are fine, but on the path of personal development we need to make sure that we have a group of people we can lean on that we know will be there through the good times and the bad. Don't be afraid to make adjustments, I'm not saying write people out of your life. I'm just saying that it helps to take a look at who you are spending the most time with and what you are both getting out of it.

Lastly, we are the givers, right? So ask yourself this. Who's support system AM I a part of? If you can't answer that question then get busy investing in others and watch what happens. 

And don't let me catch you just being a taker. 😉 Build your group, your PEOPLE, your tribe. It's healthy, we need it. 

We can't do this alone.

Be the example.


Monday, November 6, 2023

Scary Goals, The Peanut Gallery and THE EDGE

I was in Vegas last month at a personal development event. A bootcamp, working on getting better at everything. One of the speakers took us through a goal setting exercise and we were asked to set five professional and five personal goals for 2024 that scared the shit out of us. So naturally, having recently signed up for Ironman Lake Placid 2024 I wrote "IMLP 2024" as one of my personal "scary" goals. We were asked to pair up with the person next to us and share in the process of developing these scary goals. The speaker gave us a few minutes to work through this and as we did he walked around the room, stopping briefly to chat with folks. When he came to me I was just making a big X through "IMLP 2024" on my paper. I was like the kid having trouble with the sample question on the test. He asked me what was up...why was I crossing that one out? I said, "because it's doesn't scare me". He just kind of looked at me and nodded and smiled. That was the moment when I knew that I wasn't going to accept less than my best from myself going forward. It may have sounded like a dick comment but in reality, I have done IMLP three times so no, it's not scary. It definitely gets my attention but it doesn't scare me. SO, it didn't make the list. 

So, make your goals scary ones. Don't go short and don't protect yourself. Burn the boats, screw Plan B and go for it. All of that shit. The interesting thing about goal setting is that to truly set a meaningful goal we need to risk failure. So if we are going to risk failure why not set a big scary goal? What's the difference between failing a little and failing a lot? Sure the peanut gallery will have their fun telling you why you should have played it safe but no one that ever did something great ever listened to those guys. They play from the bench - where it's safe. They never lose, but they never win either. Be careful how much and with whom you share these big fat scary-ass goals because sometimes it can douse your fire. The only person that needs to believe in you is YOU. Validation from others is not necessary. Something I have only recently stopped doing is looking to others for inspiration or guidance to accomplish my big scary goals. FK that. I got this shit and I am going Full-Send at them in 2024. It took some straight talk from a close friend but I am now realizing that I am the ONLY one qualified to realize MY dreams. Don't look for validation from others. You don't need it. Everything you need is already in you.

Over the last year I have worked hard to develop my "message" as I have jumped into the coaching world. I knew that I wanted to inspire and motivate people, to help them through tough stuff and help them do hard things. But I needed a couple of words to sum it all up. During a session with one of my coaches I was talking about all the things I wanted to do with my clients and the events I wanted to offer and he said "there are a lot of Summits in your vernacular". I think that is where I got the name for the coaching business. Summit, I liked it. It worked. Done. Then, in another conversation with my other coach I was rambling on about how I like to push people out of their comfort zones and get them to go beyond where they thought they could go. He said, "you know, what I hear when you speak is a real EDGE. You take people to The Edge." And that was it, I found my two words that I could build around. 

The Edge. I like it. I'll run with it. It works. Stay tuned, I am working to put on an event here in Southern Maine called The Edge and I'll be announcing details soon. I want to bring something to Southern Maine where people can come together and get healthier mentally and physically. Ever since the wrath of Covid I feel like we have all been running in quicksand. Time to start doing something about it. Mahatma Gandhi said "Be the change you wish to see in the world". I intend to be the example of the change and will be working to do my part in 2024. 

They say everyone has at least one book in them. 

The Edge. 


Tuesday, July 11, 2023

I got Fired Today

You might be wondering why I would ever celebrate getting fired, but for me, as a coach, this is my favorite day. It's the day when someone says "Hey Bob, I think I've got this....". It's the day we get to talk about how far they have come, the day we get to reflect on where they started vs where they ARE. So today, I want to take you on a lighthearted and enlightening journey that reveals the essence of my coaching practice: working myself out of a job. So buckle up and let's dive in!

Embracing Change and Commitment:
When I connect with a new client, I ask for a minimum commitment of four months. Why? Because change takes time. I firmly believe that personal and business growth are processes that require dedication and patience. It's like planting a seed and nurturing it until it blossoms into something extraordinary.

The Goal: Independence and Empowerment:
While many coaches thrive on long-term partnerships, my ultimate goal is to empower my clients to become self-sufficient and independent. I'm not in the business of creating dependency; I'm here to help you spread your wings and soar to new heights. Think of me as your temporary co-pilot, guiding you through turbulence until you can pilot your own success.

The Value of a Coach:
Now, you might be wondering why you should even consider working with a coach if the aim is to "fire" them eventually. A coach brings invaluable perspective, expertise, and guidance to the table. They serve as your sounding board, accountability partner, and mentor, helping you navigate the tricky terrains of life and business. Sometimes, we all need that extra push and guidance, and that's where I come in.

Lighthearted Lessons Learned:
We have fun. Working with entrepreneurs is never a dull affair, and along the way, I've learned some lessons. From deciphering the cryptic language of startup jargon to celebrating small victories with a quick text or phone call, my coaching journey has been an enjoyable blend of seriousness and fun. I always try to share a relatable (sometimes funny) story that can help the client realize that they are not alone. After all, laughter is the fuel that keeps us going, isn't it?

Looking Ahead: Excited for New Adventures:
I want to take a moment to thank all my past clients for their trust and collaboration. I couldn't be prouder of their progress and newfound independence. And now, I'm thrilled to announce that I'm ready to take on new clients. Yes, you heard it right—I can't wait to get fired again! So if you're looking to ignite your entrepreneurial journey, level up your business, or make some changes in your life, let's embark on this exciting adventure together.

Remember, getting fired doesn't always mean a door closing. It can signify growth, progress, and the accomplishment of our shared goals. As a coach, my purpose is to guide, empower, motivate, inspire and eventually see you shine without my constant support. So, if you're ready to take charge, let's connect and make magic happen. I can't wait to get fired again!

Stay focused, stay inspired, and keep reaching for those summits.

Do Hard Things. 👊