Friday, November 10, 2023

The Importance of Building a Support System


I was leading my weekly team call on Zoom last night with a bunch of my Summit Coaching clients and friends. The topic for the call was "The Importance of Building a Support System". We had a robust talk about it so I thought I would turn it into a blog post and try to extend the message to a few more people. 

A good support system is critical for just about anything we are trying to tackle in life. You've heard the saying "It takes a village". I believe that applies to way more than just raising a family. Whether you are an entrepreneur, employee, mom, dad, brother or sister, life will be better for you if you have your PEOPLE - the group that you reach out to when the shit hits the proverbial fan. 

During our call tonight I outlined five different ways that having a good support system can benefit you.

1.    Emotional Support:

A support system provides a network of friends, family, or colleagues who can offer emotional support during challenging times.They provide a safe space for you to express your feelings, thoughts, and concerns, reducing feelings of loneliness and isolation. Have a shitty day? It's nice to have someone that'll just listen - not necessarily try to fix. 

2.    Stress Reduction:

This is a big one for me. Stress can be a killer. A strong support system can help you manage and reduce stress. By sharing your burdens with supportive individuals, you can alleviate the emotional weight of stressful situations.

3.    Enhanced Resilience:

One day at a time right? Supportive relationships can increase your resilience in the face of adversity. When you face setbacks or obstacles, a support system can bolster your confidence and help you bounce back more effectively. And remember, it's not how many times you fall down, it's how many times you get back up that matters.

4.    Problem Solving:

Sometimes we can't see the forest for the trees. Your support system can offer diverse perspectives and solutions to problems you encounter. They can act as a sounding board for ideas, provide guidance, and offer valuable insights to help you make informed decisions. Having a variety of people you can consult can make all the difference.

5.    Professional Growth:  A support system within your professional network can lead to career opportunities and development. Mentors, colleagues, and industry connections can offer guidance, introduce you to relevant opportunities, and help you advance in your career. Opportunity comes in strange packaging sometimes. Having the right people in your corner can expose you to some things that you might otherwise miss out on.

A strong support system not only enhances your emotional well-being but also contributes to your resilience, problem-solving abilities, and professional growth. It is an invaluable resource for navigating life's challenges and pursuing your goals. 

OK, now that we know what a strong support system can do for us, let's talk about a few ways to build our own. Here are some things to consider when putting together YOUR support system. I call them "The Seven G's"

1.    Goals. It always comes back to goals with me doesn't it? lol. But seriously, without a clearly defined set of goals, how can you put together an effective support system? So let's make sure those goals are specific, measurable and time-bound. Getting super clear on your goals will help you assemble the right support system. 

2.    Gravitate. Move toward people that share your vision. Surrounding yourself with like minded people who understand your journey is key. On a professional level this might mean joining a networking group, attending events or leveraging online platforms to meet like-minded individuals. I always say that you are what you surround yourself with. This definitely comes into play when putting together your support system. 

3.    Give and Take. It's been said that there are givers and takers in this world. The takers eat better but the givers SLEEP better. Be a giver. It's amazing what a little reciprocity will do for you. I believe that we tend to get back what we push out. Try it and see. Offering support to others can strengthen your own network.

4.    Be Generous. Coach John Wooden said "You can't truly have a great day until you have done something for someone else without expectation of something in return". Offer your expertise. Support others. Pure and simple generosity can have a positive impact on building your support system. 

5.    Genuine Connections. It's important that these relationships are authentic. One of the ways to ensure that there is authenticity in the relationship is through transparency and vulnerability. We can't help one another if we don't know what the whole deal is. That's why it's important to have trust and know that when you share something with someone in your support system it stays between the two of you. Through active listening and staying engaged, you can build some genuine relationships that will serve you well.

6.    Growth Mindset. This is a non-negotiable. People in your support system need to have a growth mindset, as do you. This will help discussions stay on the positive side. You want people in your circle that will call you on your shit. I have people that say to me "well, that's just sounds like a bunch of excuses, let's talk about what the real issue is". When you have people like that in your life, you are automatically held to a higher standard. As I mentioned before, it is hard to do this thing called life by yourself. Get your people, vocalize your issues and lean in. You'll be surprised how much better you'll feel. Seek out opportunities for growth, whether it be industry events, personal development outings, or just plain being around people who are in a growth mode. We are never done.

7.    Gratitude. It's important to regularly acknowledge the people that help you. Be grateful. Show appreciation. It's not hard and it goes a long way. It doesn't have to be a grand gesture. Just something simple. Things that I regularly say are "I appreciate you", "Thanks for the effort", "Thanks for all that you do". And the toughest one... "I LOVE YOU". I tell my best friends that all the time and (shocker) no one comes and collects my man card afterward either. 

So there you have it. As I mentioned, we had a good talk about this stuff and everyone was able to chime in on what their own support system looks like and where it needs work. Audit your own support system. Write down who these people are and what they bring to the table. Are they adding to the equation or taking away? Both are fine, but on the path of personal development we need to make sure that we have a group of people we can lean on that we know will be there through the good times and the bad. Don't be afraid to make adjustments, I'm not saying write people out of your life. I'm just saying that it helps to take a look at who you are spending the most time with and what you are both getting out of it.

Lastly, we are the givers, right? So ask yourself this. Who's support system AM I a part of? If you can't answer that question then get busy investing in others and watch what happens. 

And don't let me catch you just being a taker. 😉 Build your group, your PEOPLE, your tribe. It's healthy, we need it. 

We can't do this alone.

Be the example.


Monday, November 6, 2023

Scary Goals, The Peanut Gallery and THE EDGE

I was in Vegas last month at a personal development event. A bootcamp, working on getting better at everything. One of the speakers took us through a goal setting exercise and we were asked to set five professional and five personal goals for 2024 that scared the shit out of us. So naturally, having recently signed up for Ironman Lake Placid 2024 I wrote "IMLP 2024" as one of my personal "scary" goals. We were asked to pair up with the person next to us and share in the process of developing these scary goals. The speaker gave us a few minutes to work through this and as we did he walked around the room, stopping briefly to chat with folks. When he came to me I was just making a big X through "IMLP 2024" on my paper. I was like the kid having trouble with the sample question on the test. He asked me what was up...why was I crossing that one out? I said, "because it's doesn't scare me". He just kind of looked at me and nodded and smiled. That was the moment when I knew that I wasn't going to accept less than my best from myself going forward. It may have sounded like a dick comment but in reality, I have done IMLP three times so no, it's not scary. It definitely gets my attention but it doesn't scare me. SO, it didn't make the list. 

So, make your goals scary ones. Don't go short and don't protect yourself. Burn the boats, screw Plan B and go for it. All of that shit. The interesting thing about goal setting is that to truly set a meaningful goal we need to risk failure. So if we are going to risk failure why not set a big scary goal? What's the difference between failing a little and failing a lot? Sure the peanut gallery will have their fun telling you why you should have played it safe but no one that ever did something great ever listened to those guys. They play from the bench - where it's safe. They never lose, but they never win either. Be careful how much and with whom you share these big fat scary-ass goals because sometimes it can douse your fire. The only person that needs to believe in you is YOU. Validation from others is not necessary. Something I have only recently stopped doing is looking to others for inspiration or guidance to accomplish my big scary goals. FK that. I got this shit and I am going Full-Send at them in 2024. It took some straight talk from a close friend but I am now realizing that I am the ONLY one qualified to realize MY dreams. Don't look for validation from others. You don't need it. Everything you need is already in you.

Over the last year I have worked hard to develop my "message" as I have jumped into the coaching world. I knew that I wanted to inspire and motivate people, to help them through tough stuff and help them do hard things. But I needed a couple of words to sum it all up. During a session with one of my coaches I was talking about all the things I wanted to do with my clients and the events I wanted to offer and he said "there are a lot of Summits in your vernacular". I think that is where I got the name for the coaching business. Summit, I liked it. It worked. Done. Then, in another conversation with my other coach I was rambling on about how I like to push people out of their comfort zones and get them to go beyond where they thought they could go. He said, "you know, what I hear when you speak is a real EDGE. You take people to The Edge." And that was it, I found my two words that I could build around. 

The Edge. I like it. I'll run with it. It works. Stay tuned, I am working to put on an event here in Southern Maine called The Edge and I'll be announcing details soon. I want to bring something to Southern Maine where people can come together and get healthier mentally and physically. Ever since the wrath of Covid I feel like we have all been running in quicksand. Time to start doing something about it. Mahatma Gandhi said "Be the change you wish to see in the world". I intend to be the example of the change and will be working to do my part in 2024. 

They say everyone has at least one book in them. 

The Edge. 


Tuesday, July 11, 2023

I got Fired Today

You might be wondering why I would ever celebrate getting fired, but for me, as a coach, this is my favorite day. It's the day when someone says "Hey Bob, I think I've got this....". It's the day we get to talk about how far they have come, the day we get to reflect on where they started vs where they ARE. So today, I want to take you on a lighthearted and enlightening journey that reveals the essence of my coaching practice: working myself out of a job. So buckle up and let's dive in!

Embracing Change and Commitment:
When I connect with a new client, I ask for a minimum commitment of four months. Why? Because change takes time. I firmly believe that personal and business growth are processes that require dedication and patience. It's like planting a seed and nurturing it until it blossoms into something extraordinary.

The Goal: Independence and Empowerment:
While many coaches thrive on long-term partnerships, my ultimate goal is to empower my clients to become self-sufficient and independent. I'm not in the business of creating dependency; I'm here to help you spread your wings and soar to new heights. Think of me as your temporary co-pilot, guiding you through turbulence until you can pilot your own success.

The Value of a Coach:
Now, you might be wondering why you should even consider working with a coach if the aim is to "fire" them eventually. A coach brings invaluable perspective, expertise, and guidance to the table. They serve as your sounding board, accountability partner, and mentor, helping you navigate the tricky terrains of life and business. Sometimes, we all need that extra push and guidance, and that's where I come in.

Lighthearted Lessons Learned:
We have fun. Working with entrepreneurs is never a dull affair, and along the way, I've learned some lessons. From deciphering the cryptic language of startup jargon to celebrating small victories with a quick text or phone call, my coaching journey has been an enjoyable blend of seriousness and fun. I always try to share a relatable (sometimes funny) story that can help the client realize that they are not alone. After all, laughter is the fuel that keeps us going, isn't it?

Looking Ahead: Excited for New Adventures:
I want to take a moment to thank all my past clients for their trust and collaboration. I couldn't be prouder of their progress and newfound independence. And now, I'm thrilled to announce that I'm ready to take on new clients. Yes, you heard it right—I can't wait to get fired again! So if you're looking to ignite your entrepreneurial journey, level up your business, or make some changes in your life, let's embark on this exciting adventure together.

Remember, getting fired doesn't always mean a door closing. It can signify growth, progress, and the accomplishment of our shared goals. As a coach, my purpose is to guide, empower, motivate, inspire and eventually see you shine without my constant support. So, if you're ready to take charge, let's connect and make magic happen. I can't wait to get fired again!

Stay focused, stay inspired, and keep reaching for those summits.

Do Hard Things. 👊

Friday, June 16, 2023

Unleashing Your Inner Power: Building Confidence and Self-Esteem

Someone called me arrogant. I laughed. Maybe that was arrogant of me. I don't know. I've always been pretty confident. And I've always said that there's a fine line between confidence and arrogance. I think the point where it makes the transition is where you can detect a lack of respect. I think that if you're highly confident, but you're respectful there's nothing wrong with that. Now, don't get me wrong, if you get me in a competitive situation, I talk more trash than Larry Bird did in the 80s but it comes from a place of fun and gamesmanship. I guess people that misread me would interpret that as arrogance. I don't spend a lot of time thinking about it, but it did spark my interest in this blog topic. I think a lot of people struggle with confidence and self-esteem. I feel like if you don't believe in yourself how can you expect someone else to? So much of what we are able to accomplish in life is rooted in how we feel about and speak to ourselves. I've been paying attention to that lately. If you're not careful, that kind of stuff can get away from you and you can talk to yourself right into a rut. I woke up at 3 AM today. Actually, it was 2:30 AM and I fought it for a while but then I threw in the towel and got up, hooked up the IV drip of coffee and started writing. I'll pay for it later today but for now, the creative juices are flowing.

I am loving Chat-GPT lately. I used to sit and try to dream up an idea for a blog. Then build out the framework and toil for hours over what to write and how to write it. Now I bark a few orders into my laptop, and it spits out some great bullet points for me that I can build around. If I had this tool in high school, I would've been the Valedictorian. I would've done that term paper when I was a Junior and not get thrown off the basketball team. But that's another story for another day. Lol. So here we go.

Unleashing Your Inner Power: Building Confidence and Self-Esteem

Let's get into it.

Confidence and self-esteem are vital components of personal well-being and success. They shape our interactions, decision-making, and overall outlook on life. However, for many individuals, building and maintaining a healthy level of confidence and self-esteem can be challenging. In this blog post, we will explore effective strategies and practical tips to boost confidence, build self-esteem, and develop a positive self-image. Let's embark on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. (Not Arrogance🫣)

Embrace Self-Acceptance:

Do YOU like YOU? The first step towards building confidence and self-esteem is embracing self-acceptance. Acknowledge your strengths, weaknesses, and imperfections. Embrace your uniqueness and realize that nobody is perfect. Remember that self-acceptance doesn't mean complacency, but rather a foundation for growth and self-improvement. Have you ever spent a significant time alone? From time to time I head up to my camp in northern Maine by myself. At first it was really strange, but I've grown to enjoy the time. Don't get me wrong, I love to have people around as well, but getting comfortable being by yourself is not a bad thing. Learn to like that person you are hanging out with - you.

Challenge Limiting Beliefs:

Identify and challenge the negative beliefs and self-doubt that hold you back. Replace self-defeating thoughts with positive affirmations. Reframe your inner dialogue and focus on your accomplishments and potential. Surround yourself with supportive and positive influences that reinforce your belief in yourself. One of the things I often ask my coaching clients when we run up against a limiting belief is "what would have to happen?" In other words, when someone feels as though they can't get to a certain level or are not worthy, I insert my question "what would have to happen in order to make that happen?". Things get REAL fast and we find out what the actual limit is in the limiting belief.

Set Meaningful Goals:

"I'm going to lose 50 pounds" vs "I'm going to lose 5 pounds and then I'll do that nine more times". Setting and achieving meaningful goals can significantly boost confidence and self-esteem. Start with small, attainable goals and gradually progress to more significant challenges. Celebrate each accomplishment along the way, as it reinforces your belief in your capabilities and strengthens your sense of achievement. Many people seek out an accountability, partner, or attempt to put the responsibility of attaining their goal on someone else. Before you do that, take some time and become accountable to yourself. Honor your commitment to yourself and your own well-being. Lastly, get specific. Instead of "I want to do a triathlon". Let's get more specific and say "I'm going to do a sprint distance triathlon on July 15th". Then go do it. 👊

Cultivate Self-Care:

Self-care is essential for nurturing confidence and self-esteem. Prioritize activities that promote physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Engage in regular exercise, eat nutritious foods, get sufficient sleep, and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Taking care of yourself sends a powerful message of self-worth and reinforces positive self-image. Be squared away. Do the little things that matter. I have made my bed for 2314 days in a row. Does it matter? It matters to me.

Surround Yourself with Supportive People:

Surround yourself with individuals who uplift and support you. Put some distance between you and those that don't. Seek out relationships that encourage your growth, provide constructive feedback, and believe in your potential. Distance yourself from toxic relationships that undermine your confidence and self-esteem. Join communities or support groups that share similar goals and values. I have created relationships with a bunch of great people over the past few years just by jumping into trade organizations or coaching groups. Get around the right people. You'll be amazed at the shift in your perspective.

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone:

Pushing beyond your comfort zone is a powerful catalyst for personal growth. Embrace new challenges and embrace the unknown. By stepping into unfamiliar territory, you'll discover hidden strengths and capabilities, which in turn, will enhance your confidence and self-esteem. It is said that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Take a look at your "five". Who are they? What are their habits? I've been doing some public speaking. Because of my years behind a microphone, it doesn't often make me nervous to get up in front of people, but it's still uncomfortable, and I still force myself to do it. Every time I do someone comes up to me and says that they are glad I did it, and they take something away from it. That fuels me to do more.

Celebrate Your Achievements:

Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Take time to reflect on your progress, and don't downplay your accomplishments. Celebrating milestones reinforces a positive self-image and reinforces your belief in your abilities. It can be a slippery slope to always be striving for more. There's nothing wrong with stepping back, taking a breath and sitting with your accomplishments for a few minutes from time to time. You're doing just fine. I've got a lot of medals from doing running races or triathlons. I never understood people that throw them in a box and forget about them. To me, they trigger great memories and are a representation of a lot of hard work. I hang mine up and sometimes when I'm struggling I take a look at them and realize that I'm doing alright. It's not a flex. Many of my friends have five times the amount of accomplishments that I do.

Practice Self-Compassion:

Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same level of care and understanding you would extend to a loved one. Accept that setbacks and failures are a natural part of life's journey and use them as opportunities for learning and growth. Cultivating self-compassion allows you to bounce back stronger and maintain a healthy sense of self-esteem. Respect yourself. You can't command the respect of others if you don't have a high level of respect for yourself. We would never speak to someone else the way we speak to ourselves with our inner dialogue. Recognize when you need to cut yourself some slack.

Continuous Learning and Personal Development:

Commit to lifelong learning and personal development. Expand your knowledge, acquire new skills, and pursue your passions. Engage in activities that challenge and inspire you, fostering a sense of purpose and accomplishment. The pursuit of personal growth fuels confidence and self-esteem. Do some things that scare you. We only get one trip around this track called life and none of us are getting out of here alive. Make an impact. One of the most interesting things to me about the personal development journey is that we are never done. There is always something else to work on and get a little bit better at. Another level to attain. Ask yourself how you're showing up for the people in your life. Could you be doing better? Give people your best. They deserve it.

Practice Gratitude:

Gratitude is a powerful practice that cultivates positivity and self-appreciation. Take time each day to reflect on the things you are grateful for, including your personal qualities, achievements, and the people who support you. Cultivating gratitude helps shift your focus from self-criticism to self-appreciation, enhancing your confidence and self esteem. Pay attention to where your energy goes. I've been focusing on that lately. One of my favorite sayings lately is "I don't have the bandwidth for that right now". It's a convenient way of saying that I am focusing on other things but it's also a safeguard that I'm not letting things in that don't deserve my headspace.

Get A Little More Selfish:

Did I just say that? Yes. I did. Don't be afraid to do some things for YOU. You don't need to be last. In fact, the more you make your own health and well-being your number one priority the better off you will be, and the more healthy you can show up for others. So is it really selfish? Or is it selfless? And in the end, the opinion you have of yourself is the one that matters most. It is cliché to say this, but what others think of you does not matter. It truly does not. Do what makes you happy, stand up a little bit straighter, walk a little bit taller. You're doing good things, and gosh darn it, people LIKE you! 🤪

Say "NO" more often:

What are you saying yes to? We all have a lot of demands on our time and energy. As we get older, have a family, develop a career, our time becomes more valuable. If we are in the habit of always saying yes to everything that is asked of us then it can become overwhelming. Ask yourself this, "when I say yes to things that don't deserve my time who pays the price?". If the answer is "my kids/family/friends/family, ME, etc." Then take a look at how often you are saying yes. It's OK to say no. Save those yeses for the right situations. Someone always pays the price when you say yes. Recognize who that is and it's a little bit easier to say no.

So there you go. A bunch of different ways to build self-esteem and confidence. It starts with you...
As for the arrogance comment... Well, I can kind of understand where that comes from. I've put myself out there in a big way over the past couple years. Videos for my contracting company. Shooting podcasts, starting a coaching company and going all in on social media with regard to building THAT, group, coaching, motivational speaking. YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, you name it. All in a pursuit of helping others. If that's the definition of arrogance, then sign me up. I GET that not everyone is going to like it. Feel free to scroll on by. 😉.

Enjoy your Friday. Go do something fun this weekend. Live your life. We only get ONE, don't waste it.


Sunday, April 30, 2023

Limiting Beliefs and Imposter Syndrome

Limiting beliefs and Imposter Syndrome are two common challenges that can hold individuals back from reaching their full potential. Both can have an adverse effect on personal and professional growth, especially for entrepreneurs who are striving to build successful businesses. Over the past couple of years I have been kicking down walls and busting through ceilings. At times it was a wrestling match with both of these conditions. With some work, the battle can be won.

Limiting beliefs are negative thoughts and perceptions that we hold about ourselves and our abilities. These beliefs can be deeply ingrained and often stem from past experiences or societal conditioning. Some common examples of limiting beliefs include "I'm not good enough," "I don't have what it takes," or "I'm not worthy of success." 

To move past limiting beliefs and step into your true potential, there are several strategies that can be helpful:

  1. Identify and challenge your limiting beliefs: Start by recognizing the negative thoughts and beliefs that are holding you back. Ask yourself whether they are really true and challenge them with evidence to the contrary. Sometimes these beliefs are just what you believe other people think of you.
  2. Reframe your thinking: Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations and focus on your strengths and accomplishments. Visualize yourself succeeding and achieving your goals. What you focus on improves.
  3. Take action: Break down your goals into smaller, achievable steps and take action towards them. Celebrate your successes along the way and use them as motivation to keep moving forward. Recognize that you ARE in fact moving the needle. 

Imposter Syndrome is a feeling of inadequacy or self-doubt, despite evidence of success and competence. It can cause individuals to question their abilities and accomplishments, and feel like a fraud. Imposter Syndrome is especially common among high-achieving individuals.

To eliminate or reduce Imposter Syndrome, there are several strategies that can be helpful:

  1. Recognize and acknowledge your feelings: Start by acknowledging your feelings of self-doubt and imposter syndrome. Remember that it is a common experience and does not mean you are not capable or deserving of success. The first step is to just recognize and acknowledge these feelings.
  2. Reframe your thinking: Instead of focusing on your perceived shortcomings, focus on your strengths and accomplishments. Recognize the skills and expertise you bring to the table. We get more of what we focus on.
  3. Seek support and mentorship: Connect with others who have similar experiences or who can offer mentorship and guidance. Surround yourself with positive and supportive individuals who can help build your confidence. This one is huge. Having the right people in your life can make all the difference.

Limiting beliefs and Imposter Syndrome can have an adverse effect on the growth of a business for entrepreneurs. These negative beliefs can lead to self-sabotage and fear of taking risks. Entrepreneurs who are held back by limiting beliefs and Imposter Syndrome may struggle to take action towards their goals, miss out on opportunities, and ultimately fail to reach their full potential.

To overcome these challenges, it is important for entrepreneurs to recognize and address any negative beliefs or self-doubt that may be holding them back. By reframing their thinking, taking action towards their goals, and seeking support from others, entrepreneurs can overcome limiting beliefs and Imposter Syndrome and build successful businesses.

How are limiting beliefs and Imposter Syndrome holding you back personally and/or professionally? Are you ready to do the work to move past these hurdles and get to the next level? 

Tuesday, April 25, 2023

Thinking of Hiring a Coach?

Working with a coach can be an incredibly transformative experience, helping you to overcome obstacles and reach your full potential in both your personal and professional life. I have always looked to coaching when trying to level up, whether it be with my nutrition, triathlon training, guitar playing or general fitness. Oddly, it wasn't until recently that I turned to coaching for "business and life". Here are seven specific benefits of working with a coach in relation to limiting beliefs, imposter syndrome, generational family dysfunction, reaching your potential, and common head trash.

  1. Overcoming limiting beliefs: A coach can help you identify and challenge the limiting beliefs that are holding you back from achieving your goals. These beliefs may be deeply ingrained, but a coach can help you see them in a new light and develop strategies to overcome them. I always felt like I was only supposed to go so far in life. Through effective coaching I have been kicking down walls for over a year now.

  2. Tackling imposter syndrome: Many people struggle with imposter syndrome, the feeling that they are not really qualified or capable of the success they have achieved. A coach can help you recognize the signs of imposter syndrome and work through them to build confidence in yourself and your abilities. At first, when I considered becoming a coach I wondered what I could possibly have to offer someone. It took some work to accept that I actually deserved a seat at the table. Once I accepted that I was off and running.

  3. Healing generational family dysfunction: Family dynamics can be complicated, and many of us carry emotional baggage from our childhoods that can impact our relationships and self-esteem. A coach can help you identify patterns of behavior that are holding you back and develop healthier ways of coping. I think that if we are doing it right, each generation gets a little better. A coach can help you build on the good stuff and thank the bad stuff for it's service and send it on it's way forever.

  4. Reaching your potential: A coach can help you set realistic and achievable goals, and develop a plan to reach them. They can provide guidance, support, and accountability to help you stay on track and overcome obstacles along the way. Accountability is key, and a coach can serve in that capacity if that is what you need.

  5. Overcoming common head trash: Negative self-talk, self-doubt, and self-sabotage can be major obstacles to success. A coach can help you recognize and overcome these negative patterns of thought and behavior, and develop more positive and empowering habits. We would never dream of speaking to someone else the way we talk to ourselves. It takes work to clean this up and it can be an ongoing project.

  6. Improving your business: A coach can provide valuable insights and guidance to help you grow your business, whether you are an entrepreneur or a corporate executive. They can help you identify areas for improvement, develop strategies to overcome challenges, and build a more successful and fulfilling career. You can go get an MBA but often times we just need some practical advice from someone that has been there and done that.

  7. Improving your overall mindset: Working with a coach can help you cultivate a growth mindset, a positive attitude, and a sense of purpose and direction in your life. This can have a profound impact on your overall happiness, well-being, and success. Life is stressful. Having some self-awareness around how you are showing up can be key to making improvements with your mindset.

Working with a coach can be a powerful tool for personal and professional growth. Whether you are struggling with limiting beliefs, imposter syndrome, generational family dysfunction, or common head trash, a coach can help you overcome these obstacles and reach your full potential. By improving your business, personal life, and overall mindset, working with a coach can help you achieve greater happiness, fulfillment, and success. 

If YOU are thinking of hiring a coach I would love to chat with you about how I might be able to help YOU. If you are interested in learning more please reach out!

Bob Turner


Saturday, March 4, 2023

The Personal Development Journey

Personal development is a lifelong journey of self-discovery and growth. It involves developing new skills, expanding your knowledge, and becoming the best version of yourself. There are many paths you can take to pursue personal development, and the options and price levels vary depending on your goals and budget. In this blog post, I'll explore some of the most popular options and their associated costs. Over the last couple of years I have been working hard on ME. Sometimes I think that if I had just stuck it out in college life would be easier. But that's no magic pill either. I believe the book of experience we write along the way counts for something. Here's a few ways you can dive into the world of personal development.

  1. Books and Online Courses

One of the most affordable ways to start your personal development journey is by reading books and taking online courses. Many books on personal development are available for under $20, and online courses can range from free to hundreds of dollars. Websites like Udemy and Coursera offer a variety of courses on personal development topics such as time management, goal setting, and public speaking. These can be less interactive but still effective.

  1. Coaching and Mentoring

If you're looking for a more personalized approach, coaching and mentoring may be the way to go. Coaches and mentors can provide one-on-one guidance, feedback, and support to help you reach your personal development goals. Prices for coaching and mentoring services can vary widely, depending on the experience and qualifications of the coach or mentor. Some coaches may charge as little as $50 per session, while others may charge several hundred dollars per hour. I have paid for some "high ticket" coaching over the past two years and I can tell you that it can open your eyes to a lot of things.

  1. Workshops and Seminars

Workshops and seminars are another popular option for personal development. These events offer the opportunity to learn from experts in a specific field, network with like-minded individuals, and gain new insights and perspectives. Prices for workshops and seminars can range from a few hundred dollars to several thousand, depending on the length of the event, the number of speakers, and the location. I have gained many friends and colleagues at recent events and my network has grown exponentially.

  1. Retreats and Conferences

For those looking for a more immersive personal development experience, retreats and conferences can be an excellent option. These events typically take place over several days or even weeks and offer a variety of workshops, seminars, and activities focused on personal growth and self-discovery. Prices for retreats and conferences can range from a few hundred dollars to several thousand, depending on the location, the amenities, and the caliber of the speakers. If you learn best by DOING, these kinds of events can be very effective.

  1. Higher Education

Finally, pursuing higher education can be an excellent way to develop new skills and expand your knowledge. Whether you're interested in earning a degree or taking individual courses, universities and colleges offer a wide range of options for personal development. Prices for higher education can vary widely, depending on the institution, the degree program, and the type of courses you take. Getting a degree is no guarantee of success but it can certainly open some doors that might otherwise be closed to you.

Personal development is a journey that looks different for everyone. There are many paths you can take to pursue personal growth and development, and the options and prices vary widely. Whether you're just starting out on your journey or you're looking to take your personal development to the next level, there's an option out there for you. So don't be afraid to explore your options, set your goals, and invest in yourself. If I can help you at all, please reach out!

Sunday, January 29, 2023

Getting Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

I heard a great quote on a podcast this past week. “For the congregation to bleed, the priest must hemorrhage”. I thought about that as it relates to my recent reentry into the coaching arena, and getting back to being a gatherer of people, a community builder.  I’ve heard it said that if you lead people, your goals need to be exponentially larger than theirs, so that they may grow within your influence. Although I’m not a priest, as the leader of my new coaching group I try to lead from the front and I try to display habits and disciplines that motivate and inspire. If I want people to step out of their comfort zone, I need them to see me doing the same. If I want to help people establish good habits and discipline, I need to display good habits and discipline. Leading by example is not always fun but it’s always rewarding.

One of my closest friends checked in on me last week. “You holding up? Big energy out lately”.  She’s extremely intuitive. She’s on to me. She knows that I am pouring out and finally stepping into my passion of helping people. I’m thankful to have someone like her check on me and make sure that I am keeping it real. Sometimes we get off track in our efforts to stay on track. Funny, how things happen that way. She knew I was “hemorrhaging“ and her instinct was to protect me from myself so to speak. On a side note, get yourself a friend like that.

About a month ago, I posted video stating my intentions to bring on some coaching clients. That has gone quite well. I was even asked to do a presentation on goal setting to a group of local Realtors. I had a blast, and I am looking to do more public speaking. Not too many people strive to get up in front of people on a microphone. For me, I’m quite comfortable with it. And as I’ve mentioned in the past, I feel like I have something more to give. Something to share. When I get done speaking, and someone pops over and shares that I had an impact, made them think, motivated, or inspired them in some way, it does all the same things for me in return. 

One of my clients mentioned to me “Hey it’s really cool that a while back you said you were going to start coaching and now you’re coaching. And then you mentioned that you wanted to do more speaking, and now you are speaking”.  I told him that it was because I asked for it. I had stated my intentions. No one is going to know what you want unless you let them know it. I read a great book by Jennifer Cohen called Bigger, Better, Bolder. It was all about stepping into your “bold”. Ask for what you want or you won’t get it. If I hadn’t put out there into the universe, what my plans were I very likely would still be sitting here thinking about getting into the coaching business and what it would be like to do some public speaking. Be careful what you wish for right? If you want something, get off your ass and ask for it. Let the world know it. Make it happen. Get comfortable being uncomfortable.

I also read Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink. This one opened my eyes a little bit. This book, written by a couple Navy SEALs talks about how basically YOU are responsible for everything in your life. So as I reflected back on my 2022 in the contracting business and apply that mentality to all my frustrations with people in general, I realized that most of that was on me. Whether it be failing to set the proper expectations, check in and manage properly, or just establish accountability, it was all on me. Even though it may have been more convenient to display frustration with others and disappointment with their performance, I am reframing my recollection of 2022 and filing it as entirely my fault. This was a powerful mindset shift because once you adopt that approach you gain a higher level of control. It takes work and discipline.  

Now I’m reading Grant Cardone’s “The 10 X Rule”.  I’m only a couple of chapters in, but I can share that his basic point is that you need to apply 10 times the effort to everything that you’re doing if you want to get the result you are after.  There’s the magic pill right there.  Sounds sexy right? Nope. Just a guy that has several hundred million dollars and his basic path to success is that he just worked 10 times harder than everyone else. Could it really be that simple? I guess we will find out! 

I’ll keep this on the shorter side today. Just wanted to jump up and touch the backboard and make sure everybody was still rocking and rolling. As always, if you’re struggling with something or have an interest in talking about some coaching, I’m available. If I think I can help you, I will. If you need something different, I don’t hesitate to let you know that as well. If you know of a group or organization, that would benefit from me doing a presentation on goals, motivation, mental toughness, or something else, let me know, and I will reach out.  One thing leads to another. After my speaking engagement this past week, I was contacted by someone else and booked for a talk in May. I’m excited about that.  

Thanks to my daughter, I now have a LinkTree  I am easy to reach. 

Go forth and conquer!  If you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.