Monday, November 6, 2023

Scary Goals, The Peanut Gallery and THE EDGE

I was in Vegas last month at a personal development event. A bootcamp, working on getting better at everything. One of the speakers took us through a goal setting exercise and we were asked to set five professional and five personal goals for 2024 that scared the shit out of us. So naturally, having recently signed up for Ironman Lake Placid 2024 I wrote "IMLP 2024" as one of my personal "scary" goals. We were asked to pair up with the person next to us and share in the process of developing these scary goals. The speaker gave us a few minutes to work through this and as we did he walked around the room, stopping briefly to chat with folks. When he came to me I was just making a big X through "IMLP 2024" on my paper. I was like the kid having trouble with the sample question on the test. He asked me what was up...why was I crossing that one out? I said, "because it's doesn't scare me". He just kind of looked at me and nodded and smiled. That was the moment when I knew that I wasn't going to accept less than my best from myself going forward. It may have sounded like a dick comment but in reality, I have done IMLP three times so no, it's not scary. It definitely gets my attention but it doesn't scare me. SO, it didn't make the list. 

So, make your goals scary ones. Don't go short and don't protect yourself. Burn the boats, screw Plan B and go for it. All of that shit. The interesting thing about goal setting is that to truly set a meaningful goal we need to risk failure. So if we are going to risk failure why not set a big scary goal? What's the difference between failing a little and failing a lot? Sure the peanut gallery will have their fun telling you why you should have played it safe but no one that ever did something great ever listened to those guys. They play from the bench - where it's safe. They never lose, but they never win either. Be careful how much and with whom you share these big fat scary-ass goals because sometimes it can douse your fire. The only person that needs to believe in you is YOU. Validation from others is not necessary. Something I have only recently stopped doing is looking to others for inspiration or guidance to accomplish my big scary goals. FK that. I got this shit and I am going Full-Send at them in 2024. It took some straight talk from a close friend but I am now realizing that I am the ONLY one qualified to realize MY dreams. Don't look for validation from others. You don't need it. Everything you need is already in you.

Over the last year I have worked hard to develop my "message" as I have jumped into the coaching world. I knew that I wanted to inspire and motivate people, to help them through tough stuff and help them do hard things. But I needed a couple of words to sum it all up. During a session with one of my coaches I was talking about all the things I wanted to do with my clients and the events I wanted to offer and he said "there are a lot of Summits in your vernacular". I think that is where I got the name for the coaching business. Summit, I liked it. It worked. Done. Then, in another conversation with my other coach I was rambling on about how I like to push people out of their comfort zones and get them to go beyond where they thought they could go. He said, "you know, what I hear when you speak is a real EDGE. You take people to The Edge." And that was it, I found my two words that I could build around. 

The Edge. I like it. I'll run with it. It works. Stay tuned, I am working to put on an event here in Southern Maine called The Edge and I'll be announcing details soon. I want to bring something to Southern Maine where people can come together and get healthier mentally and physically. Ever since the wrath of Covid I feel like we have all been running in quicksand. Time to start doing something about it. Mahatma Gandhi said "Be the change you wish to see in the world". I intend to be the example of the change and will be working to do my part in 2024. 

They say everyone has at least one book in them. 

The Edge. 


1 comment:

  1. Thank you for always pushing me to the edge. Your thoughtfulness in how you listen, ask questions that cause me to process better and how you bring quality suggestions that help me be a better person. I have pushed myself physically this year thanks to you and the folks you have helped me get around. I am thankful for you as a coach and looking forward to being sharpened to the "Edge"!