Stop Babysitting Adults: Build Leaders, Build Standards, Build a Culture That Wins

It was five below zero up in Island Falls, Maine when I hit record for this LIVE365.

And as much as the weather can punch you in the mouth up here, it actually sets the stage for a leadership truth that a lot of business owners need to hear:

When it’s cold, you don’t complain about the cold.
You adjust the gear.
You get the right layers, the right boots, the right plan—because the conditions don’t care how you feel.

Leadership is the same way.

If your team feels like a mess… if your day feels like chaos… if you spend your life putting out fires…

It’s not because your people are broken.

It’s because your leadership model needs upgrading.

When Leadership Turns Into Adult Daycare

I used to joke that I ran an “adult daycare.”

And if we’re being honest, there are plenty of days where business owners still feel exactly like that:

Constant reminders
Constant follow-ups
Constant fixing things that “shouldn’t” need fixing
Constant emotional babysitting
Constant rescuing

But here’s the hard truth:

If your day feels like adult daycare, it’s not a “them problem.”
It’s a leadership problem.

And before you get defensive—good. That’s the point.

Because the moment you stop blaming your team and start looking in the mirror, everything can change.

The Difference Between Babysitting and Leading

Babysitting is emotional.
Leading is structured.

Babysitting sounds like:

“Don’t forget to do that.”
“I need you to be more careful.”
“Come on, man… we’ve talked about this.”
“Just give it to me. I’ll do it myself.”

Leading sounds like:

“Here is the standard.”
“Here is what good looks like.”
“Here is how we measure it.”
“Here’s when we review it.”
“Here’s what happens when we hit it—or miss it.”

When you babysit, you’re reminding people.
When you lead, you’re measuring performance.

When you babysit, you’re fixing mistakes.
When you lead, you’re teaching standards.

When you babysit, you absorb everyone’s stress.
When you lead, you transfer ownership and hold accountability.

When you babysit, you’re constantly rescuing.
When you lead, you’re developing people.

And here’s the line that matters most:

Every time you save someone from accountability, you steal their growth.

Read that again.

If you keep stepping in, covering mistakes, smoothing problems over, and shielding people from consequences… you’re not being a good leader.

You’re training dependence.

The 4-Step Burnout Loop That Destroys Leaders (and Culture)

Here’s how good leaders burn out and cultures rot from the inside out:

You remind
“Hey—don’t forget to do that.”
They repeat the mistake
Same issue. Same excuse. Different day.
You get frustrated
Now you’re irritated, short, and carrying resentment.
You take the work back
“Just give it to me. I’ll do it myself.”

And the worst part?

That loop feels “productive” in the short term… because the work gets done.

But long term, it creates:

A team that waits to be told
A culture that avoids ownership
A leader who’s buried, bitter, and exhausted
A business that can’t scale because the owner is the system

So the question isn’t whether your team is capable.

The question is whether you’re willing to stop enabling dependence.

The Shift: Build Leaders With Structure, Not Emotion

If you want to stop babysitting and start building leaders, you need four things:

1) Expectations in writing

No guessing. No assumptions. No “they should know.”

Write it down. Make it clear. Have them sign off if needed.

2) Metrics, not emotions

Not: “That really pissed me off.”
Instead: “Here’s the standard. Here’s where you are. Let’s close the gap.”

Metrics remove drama. They create clarity.

3) A review rhythm

Weekly check-ins. Monthly reviews. Scorecards. Whatever fits your operation.

But it can’t be random.
It can’t be “when you remember.”
It has to be a rhythm.

4) Clear consequences (and rewards)

Consequences aren’t mean. They’re leadership.

And don’t miss this part:

Reward the behavior you want more of.

If someone is stepping up, improving, taking ownership—call it out. Reinforce it. Build momentum.

Because culture isn’t what you say once.
Culture is what you inspect and reinforce over time.

Adults Don’t Need Motivation—They Need Clarity

Most people aren’t lazy.
They’re unclear.

They don’t know exactly what winning looks like.
They don’t know how performance is measured.
They don’t know what happens if they don’t deliver.

So they drift.

And when they drift, you get frustrated.

But your frustration doesn’t fix the problem.

Clarity does.

The Leadership Challenge

Here’s your takeaway assignment—simple, but not easy:

Pick one person or one role you’ve been babysitting.

Then answer these three questions:

What expectation do I have that isn’t written down?
What metric isn’t tracked?
What consequence isn’t enforced?

That’s it.

Those three questions will expose exactly why you keep carrying what other people should own.

And if you want to start clean in the new year, here’s a powerful rule Wendy says to me all the time:

“If you haven’t given someone an expectation and told them what to do, adjust your expectation to zero.”

That one stings… because it’s true.

Final Thought

Leading people is work.

It requires you to get uncomfortable.
It requires hard conversations.
It requires standards and structure.

But the payoff is everything you want:

A team that owns outcomes
A culture that holds the line
A business that grows without crushing you
And a life where you’re not carrying the whole thing on your back

And remember—just like the winter up here in Maine…

There’s no such thing as bad conditions.

Only an outdated system.

Upgrade the system, and you upgrade the outcome.

The Summit

Saturday, January 3, 2026