Wednesday, October 12, 2022

Working on Mindset

(Warning, strong language)

(Also, I write like I talk - that’s intentional.  You literary buffs know the term for that. 

Grammar Police need not apply. And don’t talk to me about ONE space or TWO spaces after a period.  I dabble in both, lol!)

It’s been awhile.  If you have to restart your blog all the time do you really even HAVE a blog?  I HAVE been blogging regularly, in my mind.  Unfortunately these thoughts rarely find their way to paper…errrr digital media.  I really should at least write down ideas when I am in the truck or when ideas for a blog topic pass through my mind.

Lately I have been doing some work on my mindset.  Yes, me…Mr Motivation…working on how I receive information and taking a good hard look at what comes out of my mouth.  All that starts with what is going on from the neck up. 

Perception / Self Image:

We all have an opinion of ourselves.  Some are realistic, some are way off base.  And SOME are self-deprecating.  The last one is something I didn’t ever think I would experience but it seems that lately I have either just started it or have become aware of it.  I think it’s the latter.  So I have been exploring that with the help of some close friends and business coaches.  You might ask how I could possibly be exhibiting this behavior.  Me too!  Here’s an example.  You guys know I play guitar.  I have messed around with it for years.  I took lessons a few years ago and stopped for a bit.  I played guitar for a friend the other night and her response was “You’re REALLY good at that”.  I responded with “Well, thanks…but it doesn’t come easily….I really have to work at it and my goal was to be able to play around a campfire and I guess I have kinda done that… but I don’t really sing that well…”.  I could tell by the look on her face that she was confused.  I had just ripped off about seven songs and had a blast doing it.  Her response was something like “why do you do that?  You’re good at it. Own that.”   So I thought about it and I thought about what it’s like to be around someone who exhibits that kind of behavior.  It’s not super attractive.  And Good Lord, the REALITY is that I KNOW I am good at it.  Shit, during a trip to Nashville last year I grabbed the guitar from the guy in the band, jumped up on stage and played and sang a SONG in front of 100 people. Who does THAT?  ME!!!  I had a blast!  Was it perfect?  Hell no.  But did I have the guts to get up there and to know that I could pull it off?  Hell YES!  So in looking at the negative self talk / self deprecating behaviors I think I have confused it with humility.  See, nobody wants to be around someone that is arrogant or egotistical.  I want be humble. So I think that as I have had success in different areas of my life whether it be triathlon, business or say, playing the guitar, I have tended to downplay the accomplishments at times.  Am I proud?  Damn right. But I think somewhere on along the line I forgot that many people view me as motivational and inspirational based on some of these accomplishments and how I generally “roll”.  The self deprecating stuff comes across as weak, and I am anything BUT that.

Getting back to ME:

So I have decided it’s time to get back to being ME.  The guy that gets up and kicks ass every day and asks YOU if YOU are kicking ass.  The guy that says “ F yeah, I can do that, watch me.”  The guy that gets all up in your business and doesn’t let you mail it in.  The guy with all kinds of motivational cliches and quotes. The guy that gathers people and shows them that they too can do epic shit.  I’m gonna get all up in my OWN business and start calling myself out on this bullshit behavior of not walking tall and acting like the freakin' badass that I am.  There.  FLAG PLANTED!  The same person that ripped into me about not owning my abilities on the guitar also told me “NOBODY wants to hang out with a Pu$$y”. They are not wrong! I think that the quote below sums up the way I feel pretty well. I am going to make a poster out of it and hang it in my office.

We get MORE of what we focus on:

So if you have read this and it has you thinking about what comes out of your mouth or what rolls around up in YOUR mind then it has hit it’s mark.  They say the easiest way to help yourself is to help someone else.  I hope that in some way this has done that.  So don’t let me hear you talking down to yourself or mailing it in - I’ll be all up in YOUR business!  Take a few minutes and replay some of the things that have come out of your mouth lately and examine where they come from.  Respect yourself if you want others to.  Be proud of what you have accomplished, tell someone about it.  Don’t hide that stuff, it’s powerful and it just might be the one thing that someone else needed to hear that day to turn their day around.  A speaker I listened to recently shared that “our brain gives us back more of what we give it” or something like that.  In other words, if you constantly tell yourself you suck, then your brain hears that and fires more of that back at you.  Practice some positive affirmations and turn that shit around.  “I am good at the guitar” “I am a successful businessman” “I am kind and empathetic”.  Try it, recognize the difference.

I hope you have enjoyed reading the random thoughts that come out of my mind.  I’ll call it a win if I’ve made you think about ONE thing you could change. As always, I promise to blog sooner and I hope to go good on that!  Now….where did I put that guitar? 

Yours Truly,

Eddie Van Halen