Friday, June 16, 2023
Someone called me arrogant. I laughed. Maybe that was arrogant of me. I don't know. I've always been pretty confident. And I've always said that there's a fine line between confidence and arrogance. I think the point where it makes the transition is where you can detect a lack of respect. I think that if you're highly confident, but you're respectful there's nothing wrong with that. Now, don't get me wrong, if you get me in a competitive situation, I talk more trash than Larry Bird did in the 80s but it comes from a place of fun and gamesmanship. I guess people that misread me would interpret that as arrogance. I don't spend a lot of time thinking about it, but it did spark my interest in this blog topic. I think a lot of people struggle with confidence and self-esteem. I feel like if you don't believe in yourself how can you expect someone else to? So much of what we are able to accomplish in life is rooted in how we feel about and speak to ourselves. I've been paying attention to that lately. If you're not careful, that kind of stuff can get away from you and you can talk to yourself right into a rut. I woke up at 3 AM today. Actually, it was 2:30 AM and I fought it for a while but then I threw in the towel and got up, hooked up the IV drip of coffee and started writing. I'll pay for it later today but for now, the creative juices are flowing.
I am loving Chat-GPT lately. I used to sit and try to dream up an idea for a blog. Then build out the framework and toil for hours over what to write and how to write it. Now I bark a few orders into my laptop, and it spits out some great bullet points for me that I can build around. If I had this tool in high school, I would've been the Valedictorian. I would've done that term paper when I was a Junior and not get thrown off the basketball team. But that's another story for another day. Lol. So here we go.
Unleashing Your Inner Power: Building Confidence and Self-Esteem
Let's get into it.
Confidence and self-esteem are vital components of personal well-being and success. They shape our interactions, decision-making, and overall outlook on life. However, for many individuals, building and maintaining a healthy level of confidence and self-esteem can be challenging. In this blog post, we will explore effective strategies and practical tips to boost confidence, build self-esteem, and develop a positive self-image. Let's embark on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. (Not Arrogance)
Do YOU like YOU? The first step towards building confidence and self-esteem is embracing self-acceptance. Acknowledge your strengths, weaknesses, and imperfections. Embrace your uniqueness and realize that nobody is perfect. Remember that self-acceptance doesn't mean complacency, but rather a foundation for growth and self-improvement. Have you ever spent a significant time alone? From time to time I head up to my camp in northern Maine by myself. At first it was really strange, but I've grown to enjoy the time. Don't get me wrong, I love to have people around as well, but getting comfortable being by yourself is not a bad thing. Learn to like that person you are hanging out with - you.
Challenge Limiting Beliefs:
Identify and challenge the negative beliefs and self-doubt that hold you back. Replace self-defeating thoughts with positive affirmations. Reframe your inner dialogue and focus on your accomplishments and potential. Surround yourself with supportive and positive influences that reinforce your belief in yourself. One of the things I often ask my coaching clients when we run up against a limiting belief is "what would have to happen?" In other words, when someone feels as though they can't get to a certain level or are not worthy, I insert my question "what would have to happen in order to make that happen?". Things get REAL fast and we find out what the actual limit is in the limiting belief.
Set Meaningful Goals:
"I'm going to lose 50 pounds" vs "I'm going to lose 5 pounds and then I'll do that nine more times". Setting and achieving meaningful goals can significantly boost confidence and self-esteem. Start with small, attainable goals and gradually progress to more significant challenges. Celebrate each accomplishment along the way, as it reinforces your belief in your capabilities and strengthens your sense of achievement. Many people seek out an accountability, partner, or attempt to put the responsibility of attaining their goal on someone else. Before you do that, take some time and become accountable to yourself. Honor your commitment to yourself and your own well-being. Lastly, get specific. Instead of "I want to do a triathlon". Let's get more specific and say "I'm going to do a sprint distance triathlon on July 15th". Then go do it. 👊
Self-care is essential for nurturing confidence and self-esteem. Prioritize activities that promote physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Engage in regular exercise, eat nutritious foods, get sufficient sleep, and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Taking care of yourself sends a powerful message of self-worth and reinforces positive self-image. Be squared away. Do the little things that matter. I have made my bed for 2314 days in a row. Does it matter? It matters to me.
Surround Yourself with Supportive People:
Surround yourself with individuals who uplift and support you. Put some distance between you and those that don't. Seek out relationships that encourage your growth, provide constructive feedback, and believe in your potential. Distance yourself from toxic relationships that undermine your confidence and self-esteem. Join communities or support groups that share similar goals and values. I have created relationships with a bunch of great people over the past few years just by jumping into trade organizations or coaching groups. Get around the right people. You'll be amazed at the shift in your perspective.
Step Out of Your Comfort Zone:
Pushing beyond your comfort zone is a powerful catalyst for personal growth. Embrace new challenges and embrace the unknown. By stepping into unfamiliar territory, you'll discover hidden strengths and capabilities, which in turn, will enhance your confidence and self-esteem. It is said that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Take a look at your "five". Who are they? What are their habits? I've been doing some public speaking. Because of my years behind a microphone, it doesn't often make me nervous to get up in front of people, but it's still uncomfortable, and I still force myself to do it. Every time I do someone comes up to me and says that they are glad I did it, and they take something away from it. That fuels me to do more.
Celebrate Your Achievements:
Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Take time to reflect on your progress, and don't downplay your accomplishments. Celebrating milestones reinforces a positive self-image and reinforces your belief in your abilities. It can be a slippery slope to always be striving for more. There's nothing wrong with stepping back, taking a breath and sitting with your accomplishments for a few minutes from time to time. You're doing just fine. I've got a lot of medals from doing running races or triathlons. I never understood people that throw them in a box and forget about them. To me, they trigger great memories and are a representation of a lot of hard work. I hang mine up and sometimes when I'm struggling I take a look at them and realize that I'm doing alright. It's not a flex. Many of my friends have five times the amount of accomplishments that I do.
Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same level of care and understanding you would extend to a loved one. Accept that setbacks and failures are a natural part of life's journey and use them as opportunities for learning and growth. Cultivating self-compassion allows you to bounce back stronger and maintain a healthy sense of self-esteem. Respect yourself. You can't command the respect of others if you don't have a high level of respect for yourself. We would never speak to someone else the way we speak to ourselves with our inner dialogue. Recognize when you need to cut yourself some slack.
Continuous Learning and Personal Development:
Commit to lifelong learning and personal development. Expand your knowledge, acquire new skills, and pursue your passions. Engage in activities that challenge and inspire you, fostering a sense of purpose and accomplishment. The pursuit of personal growth fuels confidence and self-esteem. Do some things that scare you. We only get one trip around this track called life and none of us are getting out of here alive. Make an impact. One of the most interesting things to me about the personal development journey is that we are never done. There is always something else to work on and get a little bit better at. Another level to attain. Ask yourself how you're showing up for the people in your life. Could you be doing better? Give people your best. They deserve it.
Gratitude is a powerful practice that cultivates positivity and self-appreciation. Take time each day to reflect on the things you are grateful for, including your personal qualities, achievements, and the people who support you. Cultivating gratitude helps shift your focus from self-criticism to self-appreciation, enhancing your confidence and self esteem. Pay attention to where your energy goes. I've been focusing on that lately. One of my favorite sayings lately is "I don't have the bandwidth for that right now". It's a convenient way of saying that I am focusing on other things but it's also a safeguard that I'm not letting things in that don't deserve my headspace.
Get A Little More Selfish:
Did I just say that? Yes. I did. Don't be afraid to do some things for YOU. You don't need to be last. In fact, the more you make your own health and well-being your number one priority the better off you will be, and the more healthy you can show up for others. So is it really selfish? Or is it selfless? And in the end, the opinion you have of yourself is the one that matters most. It is cliché to say this, but what others think of you does not matter. It truly does not. Do what makes you happy, stand up a little bit straighter, walk a little bit taller. You're doing good things, and gosh darn it, people LIKE you! 🤪
Say "NO" more often:
What are you saying yes to? We all have a lot of demands on our time and energy. As we get older, have a family, develop a career, our time becomes more valuable. If we are in the habit of always saying yes to everything that is asked of us then it can become overwhelming. Ask yourself this, "when I say yes to things that don't deserve my time who pays the price?". If the answer is "my kids/family/friends/family, ME, etc." Then take a look at how often you are saying yes. It's OK to say no. Save those yeses for the right situations. Someone always pays the price when you say yes. Recognize who that is and it's a little bit easier to say no.
So there you go. A bunch of different ways to build self-esteem and confidence. It starts with you...
As for the arrogance comment... Well, I can kind of understand where that comes from. I've put myself out there in a big way over the past couple years. Videos for my contracting company. Shooting podcasts, starting a coaching company and going all in on social media with regard to building THAT, group, coaching, motivational speaking. YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, you name it. All in a pursuit of helping others. If that's the definition of arrogance, then sign me up. I GET that not everyone is going to like it. Feel free to scroll on by. 😉.
Enjoy your Friday. Go do something fun this weekend. Live your life. We only get ONE, don't waste it.