Everything You Need Is Already In You.

 

Just some thoughts from The Cockpit this morning. 

I’m up early again, working on World Domination (😄).  I decide to flip back through my notes from the bootcamp I went to in Vegas in October. Here are some things I wrote as I listened to the speakers. 

I get to choose how I speak to myself. Have you ever caught yourself driving down the road just ripping into yourself? I heard it said the other day "be careful how you talk to yourself because your body can't tell the difference”. I think there's something to this. I've been catching myself lately, not giving myself slack. Try giving yourself a little bit of grace and understand that Rome wasn't built in a day.

Trusting the process is not enough. You must ATTACK the process. We hear this a lot..."Trust the process". Is there some magical level of success at the end of trusting the process? I don't think so. I think you need to get up every day and go right at it. Take action. I am a “shoot, aim, ready” guy, not a “ready, aim, shoot”, guy. Most times this approach serves me well. I don't wait. I make things happen. When I DO wait, I find that I am disappointed to see an opportunity slip by.

You will never rise above the level of your health. I believe it all starts with your health. It doesn't make sense to be worldly successful in business if you don't have a body to enjoy it with. Do what you need to do on a daily basis to make sure that when you reach your level of success, whatever that is, you actually can enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Narrative determines outcome. We control our own narrative. As I mentioned above, how we speak to ourselves can make a big difference. Rewrite your own narrative if you need to. Say it out loud and listen to what it sounds like. Mine lately has been "I am becoming a sought after Speaker and Coach”. Bold? You’re damn right. If I can't say it out loud and believe it, how in the world would I expect anyone else to?

Feedback - What CHAMPIONS eat for breakfast. I love feedback. To me it's just a faster way to get better. It can be a little bit rough on the ego at times but it's good healthy exercise for the mind to be able to listen to feedback. Take it all in, decide what of it you are going to use to get better and get rid of the rest. 

Own your mind, control the controllable. This can be a daily battle, and it should be if you're doing it right. A lot of the guys that I interact with these days start their day with some gratitude, some meditation, or some journaling. I believe that gets your day off on the right foot. My routine seems to be to get in "the cockpit", My corner of the couch where I can reach my coffee, open up the laptop and enjoy my most creative part of the day. It's LITERALLY what I'm doing right now. This sets up my day and gets me off on the right foot.

Start being honest with yourself. I talk a lot about this with my clients. If we are not truthful with ourselves, we can't really be truthful with anyone else. Being transparent and vulnerable is not easy. But it is a necessity when you are looking to develop personally. You have to be brutally honest. It's not always easy to hear but you have to do it if you're going to grow.

Keep the main thing the main thing. This one is hard for me. I like to do a lot of things. Sometimes we need to break it down and just run the lap that we are on. It can be as simple as "what are the five things I need to accomplish today?”. I think it was Tim Grover that said "become a master of the average”. In other words, let's do the basics well.

The PEAK of your productivity is the PEAK of your vulnerability. In cycling, they call this "being on the rivet". Have you ever seen a cyclist going really hard? To be “on the rivet” is an old cycling term meaning giving it full exertion, almost to the point of breaking. It derives from the days when riders used riveted leather saddles, and with intense effort, the hips slide forward, leaving the cyclist's posterior straddling the front rivet of the saddle. This is also where the cyclist is a half step from “blowing up” - being done. Long winded example but you get the drift. We are most vulnerable when we are “on the rivet”. Be careful how much time you spend there. 

Be different. Disrupt your industry. I heard marketing/digital media expert Chans Weber say this. So often we operate within the boundaries of what we feel are the norm for our particular business. Don't be afraid to be different. Be disruptive. Shake things up. A lot of great things were accomplished by people that said "I'm not doing it that way”.

What is REQUIRED is not enough. You must do The UNREQUIRED. I hear this one a lot from Ben Newman. Ben is one of my coaches and was most recently named one of the Top 5 Mindset & Performance Coaches in the World by USA Today alongside Ed Mylett, Brendon Burchard, Tim Grover, and Mel Robbins. Ben completes a workout that he calls “The Unrequired” every day - no matter what. It gets done. However, he makes the point that you can't do The Unrequired without first doing The Required. Do what you need to do, but we don't get a medal for that. Then do more. 

What is the single most important daily discipline for me, and on a scale of 1-10, how intentional about that have I been over the last 30 days? I also heard this one from Ben. I think if you focused on nothing else each day, but your single, most important daily discipline, you would probably crush life. Asking yourself how committed to that you are on a scale of 1 to 10 only increases the effectiveness. Note, see the above paragraph on being honest with yourself.

I get to design my life. True enough, right? You might think you have limitations on how you can live life, but when it really comes down to it, you are the only one in control. If that's not the case, something major needs to change. You are either in the wrong relationship or you have the wrong people around you. Do an audit, take stock, find out if you are the one that's really in control.

What does my very best look like? How can I add 10%? I like this one. Again, you need to be honest with yourself here. What is your very best? What does 10% more look like? What would it take to add 10%? Write it down. Look at it. Leave it somewhere where you can see it.

Do something every day to connect with someone on a deeper level. This might be as simple as stopping to chat with somebody in the grocery store line. You never know how you can affect someone's day. You can also do this with family. Are people hearing enough from you?

When you love yourself, you give other people permission to love you. I believe you get back more of what you push out. If people see you being kind to yourself and giving yourself grace, you will probably get that in return. If you are always dumping on yourself and hating on yourself, you can expect that in return as well.

Your hard work puts you where your blessings can find you. Funny how that happens. I often say "the harder I work, the luckier I get". But I don't think luck has anything to do with it. I just try to keep on doing good things and son of a gun if good things don't happen. I can't explain it and I'm not gonna try.

People are watching you. I am reminded of this every time I think nobody's reading this stuff or paying attention to my regular posts on social media. Just when I think no one's listening, someone will tap me on the shoulder and say hey, “I really like your stuff” or “keep going”. Many people watch and never comment, but every once in a while, I'll get a private Facebook message from someone and that little bit of fuel keeps me going.

If it doesn’t GROW, it GOES. You could apply this to most anything. Finance, personal relationships, personal disciplines. If it isn't on an upward trajectory, get rid of it. With regard to the personal relationships, that doesn't mean you nuke every relationship that isn't growing but it might mean you put it in a different box for the moment. Pour into the things that are feeding you back.

Grind. But do so with a purpose. How many times if you ask someone how it's going and the reply is "busy busy". Make sure you're "busy" isn't just chaos. Grind with a purpose, grind with the direction, just don't grind aimlessly.

Who has the keys to your heart and shouldn’t? Get rid of the keys and make it a combination. I heard this one from Tim Grover. It was kind of deep. He was asking who we are letting into our lives and how easy are we making it. He encouraged us to change it to a combination instead of a key. Make it harder for people to get into your inner circle. A bit of a pre-qualification process if you will. Know what the criteria is and stick to it. As I've gotten older, I feel like I have begun to do this organically anyway. I have less time and desire for anything that isn't moving the needle for me.

Everything I need is already in me. This is probably one of my favorite “Ben" quotes. I've also heard it said that "sometimes we ask advice about things we already know the answers to". We are smarter than we give ourselves credit for. And we give others too much credit! We know what's best for ourselves, but sometimes we look to others for validation. Stop. Sit down, take a good look at where you are and where do you want to go. Outline the steps to get there. Then break those steps down to daily tasks and disciplines. And then, go forth and conquer.

Thanks for reading, this started out as a short list of things to think about that I was planning to post on my group coaching Facebook Page called The Peak. But I decided to expand on it and share it to a larger audience. I hope you enjoyed it and got something out of it. As always, I am happy to have a discussion with you if you find yourself struggling with life or business. Getting Summit Coaching & Consulting up and running over the past year has been a blast. I am taking on one on one clients as well as membership into our “Peak” group coaching environment. I am also starting another mastermind group in February. I'd love to tell you more about it. If you think it makes sense to have a conversation and you can schedule a call at the link below. Have a great day!!

Click HERE to schedule a call.  

The Evolution of The Edge

 

Over the past few years, I have attended some great in person events. Mostly on the construction industry side, but a couple of them have been more on the personal development side and digging into being a better you. In the process, an idea began to form. I could see myself putting on my own event someday here in southern Maine. About that same time I began to get the itch to return to coaching. I had done some triathlon coaching in the past, but this was going to be different. I was interacting with a lot of entrepreneurs, business owners, younger people, struggling with business and/or life. It seemed like a natural to jump in and try to help. Couple that with my tendency to be the "gatherer of people" and all of a sudden you've got the makings of a budding community. 

A year ago I decided to stop ignoring the itch and I created Summit Coaching and Consulting. I did some marketing and let people know that I was available as a Coach. In the amount of time it took for somebody to watch my first video, the phone rang. I was off and running. There was a new pep in my step. I finally had some oxygen. I was helping people. It felt good. I poured every nickel that I made coaching back into personal development and becoming a better Coach. I started a Facebook page, a group, The Summit. I invited people to join. I got uncomfortable and put it out there. We are now at 690 members. I kept podcasting. I blogged when I could and I continued to do what I needed to do to make sure my construction business kept rolling. Contracting paid the bills, coaching, filled the cup.

The support and encouragement I received from the Summit community, and my extended network of friends and business associates was nothing short of amazing. It fueled me. 2023 was a great year in that regard. I was having lunch with a friend of mine this past week, and he said "you've never been afraid to make a change". I guess he's right, and there IS a change happening, a transition, and evolution if you will. I think that just because we're doing one thing right now it doesn't mean we have to do that forever. I think it takes a tremendous amount of courage step into the unknown, to put yourself out there, and just not really know if it's going to work. It's funny how opportunities present. Once you decide that you are going all-in on something, doors start opening. I think that too many people sit on the sidelines and say "what if?". And they go through life, wondering what it would have been like to do what they were really put on this earth to do.

I'm 54 years old. I feel like I'm late to the game of doing what serves me. Oddly, I stumbled onto that by serving others. Funny how that works. I like to get up early, grab the laptop, a huge coffee, and sit on the couch. I guess that's where I am most creative. I guess I have a "never finished" mentality where I can always be doing something better or improving in some way. 

I like quotes. One of the favorite gifts I was able to give for Christmas was a wall hanging of Teddy Roosevelt's "The Man In The Arena" quote to my brother Dave. If you guys think I go hard, follow him around for a week. Anyway, back to quotes, I usually will drop a couple of good quotes on my Thursday night call with our paid coaching group called The Peak. The one I have liked the most lately is "sit with the Warriors, the conversation is different". So I would say that would sum up my last couple of years, I have been sitting with the Warriors. The conversation IS different. I've surround myself with people that don't settle for anything less than my best. And I've tried to be there for other people in that same way. In the process I think we've all gotten better.

And then there's that "putting on my own event" thing. It kept coming back to my mind. There are two ways to go at something. One is, "Ready, Aim, Shoot", the other is "Shoot, Aim, Ready". The former is probably the more prudent approach. I tend to roll with the latter. An example of that is my podcast. I decided one day that I was going to create a podcast and I did it. My goal was to do one per week. It's been almost 2 years and I have 43 episodes. Did I hit my goal? Nope. Have I done 43 podcast episodes and impacted tons of people? YUP! And we tweak the process and we adjust and we continue to improve. But I am not sitting on the sidelines saying "man I'm thinking about starting a podcast". I took action, I did it. It wasn't perfect and it still isn't. It is definitely a work in progress. But I digress....Back to the event. 

Deploying the Shoot, Aim, Ready approach, I created The Edge Event. I got some great speakers lined up and I secured a venue. I have worked at pulling something together in a couple months that probably warrants at least six. I'm not an event planner. I've just gotten a bunch of great people together in the interest of helping others. Leveling people up. Bringing them along. I'm excited about it. We are one week out. Could I use more time? Absolutely. But the date doesn't move. The tickets are sold and the people are planning on coming. I couldn't be more excited. This one will not be perfect. I will learn. But the next one will be a little bit better and the one after that will be even better. There are people flying in from different areas of the country, and I couldn't be more humbled that someone would get on a plane and fly to Maine to attend an event that I put together. We are doing this. 

When I was younger, and I was working at a millwork company, I went to a one day event specific to the industry. There was a lunch and I was sitting across the table from an older guy. Looking back, he was probably the age I am now, and at the time I was about 20. He said something that has stuck with me since then. He said "you know, for as long as I've been in business, I've never missed a chance to attend an event. I went even when I couldn't afford it, and I went even when I didn't have the time. I always found a WAY". I was young, so I didn't even know what that kind of thinking was all about. But it stuck with me that if this guy that clearly ran a successful business, had that strong an opinion about getting together with like-minded people, then there must be something to it. I don't know why it resonated with me so much at the time, but I guess it was one of those moments where someone says something and you just tuck it away not really knowing that you're gonna need it later in life.

The Edge event is on Friday January 12th. A week day. People work. Life is going on. I know. But let me ask you a few questions. When was the last time you invested in YOU?....in making a better YOU? What is your plan for 2024? Will it be the same as 2023? Will you be happy with that?  I challenge YOU. Come and invest in YOU. If you haven't signed up, I would love it if you did. Come and spend a few hours listening to some folks that have dealt with adversity and prevailed, people that operate at a high level. Come listen to what makes them tick. You'll definitely take SOMETHING home with you that will stick with you like it did me years ago. Come find YOUR edge. I promise you won't be disappointed. I don't think we're ever done working on ourselves. I continue to look for opportunities to do that and I'm hopeful this will be that for a lot of people. And hey, who doesn't want to take a Friday off?

I hope to see you on the 12th? Tickets are available at the link below! Come To The Edge!!!

eventbrite.com/e/767957490527?aff=oddtdtcreator

Thanks!

BT

The Importance of Building a Support System

 

I was leading my weekly team call on Zoom last night with a bunch of my Summit Coaching clients and friends. The topic for the call was "The Importance of Building a Support System". We had a robust talk about it so I thought I would turn it into a blog post and try to extend the message to a few more people. 

A good support system is critical for just about anything we are trying to tackle in life. You've heard the saying "It takes a village". I believe that applies to way more than just raising a family. Whether you are an entrepreneur, employee, mom, dad, brother or sister, life will be better for you if you have your PEOPLE - the group that you reach out to when the shit hits the proverbial fan. 

During our call tonight I outlined five different ways that having a good support system can benefit you.

1.    Emotional Support:

A support system provides a network of friends, family, or colleagues who can offer emotional support during challenging times.They provide a safe space for you to express your feelings, thoughts, and concerns, reducing feelings of loneliness and isolation. Have a shitty day? It's nice to have someone that'll just listen - not necessarily try to fix. 

2.    Stress Reduction:

This is a big one for me. Stress can be a killer. A strong support system can help you manage and reduce stress. By sharing your burdens with supportive individuals, you can alleviate the emotional weight of stressful situations.

3.    Enhanced Resilience:

One day at a time right? Supportive relationships can increase your resilience in the face of adversity. When you face setbacks or obstacles, a support system can bolster your confidence and help you bounce back more effectively. And remember, it's not how many times you fall down, it's how many times you get back up that matters.

4.    Problem Solving:

Sometimes we can't see the forest for the trees. Your support system can offer diverse perspectives and solutions to problems you encounter. They can act as a sounding board for ideas, provide guidance, and offer valuable insights to help you make informed decisions. Having a variety of people you can consult can make all the difference.

5.    Professional Growth:  A support system within your professional network can lead to career opportunities and development. Mentors, colleagues, and industry connections can offer guidance, introduce you to relevant opportunities, and help you advance in your career. Opportunity comes in strange packaging sometimes. Having the right people in your corner can expose you to some things that you might otherwise miss out on.

A strong support system not only enhances your emotional well-being but also contributes to your resilience, problem-solving abilities, and professional growth. It is an invaluable resource for navigating life's challenges and pursuing your goals. 

OK, now that we know what a strong support system can do for us, let's talk about a few ways to build our own. Here are some things to consider when putting together YOUR support system. I call them "The Seven G's"

1.    Goals. It always comes back to goals with me doesn't it? lol. But seriously, without a clearly defined set of goals, how can you put together an effective support system? So let's make sure those goals are specific, measurable and time-bound. Getting super clear on your goals will help you assemble the right support system. 

2.    Gravitate. Move toward people that share your vision. Surrounding yourself with like minded people who understand your journey is key. On a professional level this might mean joining a networking group, attending events or leveraging online platforms to meet like-minded individuals. I always say that you are what you surround yourself with. This definitely comes into play when putting together your support system. 

3.    Give and Take. It's been said that there are givers and takers in this world. The takers eat better but the givers SLEEP better. Be a giver. It's amazing what a little reciprocity will do for you. I believe that we tend to get back what we push out. Try it and see. Offering support to others can strengthen your own network.

4.    Be Generous. Coach John Wooden said "You can't truly have a great day until you have done something for someone else without expectation of something in return". Offer your expertise. Support others. Pure and simple generosity can have a positive impact on building your support system. 

5.    Genuine Connections. It's important that these relationships are authentic. One of the ways to ensure that there is authenticity in the relationship is through transparency and vulnerability. We can't help one another if we don't know what the whole deal is. That's why it's important to have trust and know that when you share something with someone in your support system it stays between the two of you. Through active listening and staying engaged, you can build some genuine relationships that will serve you well.

6.    Growth Mindset. This is a non-negotiable. People in your support system need to have a growth mindset, as do you. This will help discussions stay on the positive side. You want people in your circle that will call you on your shit. I have people that say to me "well, that's just sounds like a bunch of excuses, let's talk about what the real issue is". When you have people like that in your life, you are automatically held to a higher standard. As I mentioned before, it is hard to do this thing called life by yourself. Get your people, vocalize your issues and lean in. You'll be surprised how much better you'll feel. Seek out opportunities for growth, whether it be industry events, personal development outings, or just plain being around people who are in a growth mode. We are never done.

7.    Gratitude. It's important to regularly acknowledge the people that help you. Be grateful. Show appreciation. It's not hard and it goes a long way. It doesn't have to be a grand gesture. Just something simple. Things that I regularly say are "I appreciate you", "Thanks for the effort", "Thanks for all that you do". And the toughest one... "I LOVE YOU". I tell my best friends that all the time and (shocker) no one comes and collects my man card afterward either. 

So there you have it. As I mentioned, we had a good talk about this stuff and everyone was able to chime in on what their own support system looks like and where it needs work. Audit your own support system. Write down who these people are and what they bring to the table. Are they adding to the equation or taking away? Both are fine, but on the path of personal development we need to make sure that we have a group of people we can lean on that we know will be there through the good times and the bad. Don't be afraid to make adjustments, I'm not saying write people out of your life. I'm just saying that it helps to take a look at who you are spending the most time with and what you are both getting out of it.

Lastly, we are the givers, right? So ask yourself this. Who's support system AM I a part of? If you can't answer that question then get busy investing in others and watch what happens. 

And don't let me catch you just being a taker. 😉 Build your group, your PEOPLE, your tribe. It's healthy, we need it. 

We can't do this alone.

Be the example.

👊

Scary Goals, The Peanut Gallery and THE EDGE

I was in Vegas last month at a personal development event. A bootcamp, working on getting better at everything. One of the speakers took us through a goal setting exercise and we were asked to set five professional and five personal goals for 2024 that scared the shit out of us. So naturally, having recently signed up for Ironman Lake Placid 2024 I wrote "IMLP 2024" as one of my personal "scary" goals. We were asked to pair up with the person next to us and share in the process of developing these scary goals. The speaker gave us a few minutes to work through this and as we did he walked around the room, stopping briefly to chat with folks. When he came to me I was just making a big X through "IMLP 2024" on my paper. I was like the kid having trouble with the sample question on the test. He asked me what was up...why was I crossing that one out? I said, "because it's doesn't scare me". He just kind of looked at me and nodded and smiled. That was the moment when I knew that I wasn't going to accept less than my best from myself going forward. It may have sounded like a dick comment but in reality, I have done IMLP three times so no, it's not scary. It definitely gets my attention but it doesn't scare me. SO, it didn't make the list. 

So, make your goals scary ones. Don't go short and don't protect yourself. Burn the boats, screw Plan B and go for it. All of that shit. The interesting thing about goal setting is that to truly set a meaningful goal we need to risk failure. So if we are going to risk failure why not set a big scary goal? What's the difference between failing a little and failing a lot? Sure the peanut gallery will have their fun telling you why you should have played it safe but no one that ever did something great ever listened to those guys. They play from the bench - where it's safe. They never lose, but they never win either. Be careful how much and with whom you share these big fat scary-ass goals because sometimes it can douse your fire. The only person that needs to believe in you is YOU. Validation from others is not necessary. Something I have only recently stopped doing is looking to others for inspiration or guidance to accomplish my big scary goals. FK that. I got this shit and I am going Full-Send at them in 2024. It took some straight talk from a close friend but I am now realizing that I am the ONLY one qualified to realize MY dreams. Don't look for validation from others. You don't need it. Everything you need is already in you.

Over the last year I have worked hard to develop my "message" as I have jumped into the coaching world. I knew that I wanted to inspire and motivate people, to help them through tough stuff and help them do hard things. But I needed a couple of words to sum it all up. During a session with one of my coaches I was talking about all the things I wanted to do with my clients and the events I wanted to offer and he said "there are a lot of Summits in your vernacular". I think that is where I got the name for the coaching business. Summit, I liked it. It worked. Done. Then, in another conversation with my other coach I was rambling on about how I like to push people out of their comfort zones and get them to go beyond where they thought they could go. He said, "you know, what I hear when you speak is a real EDGE. You take people to The Edge." And that was it, I found my two words that I could build around. 

The Edge. I like it. I'll run with it. It works. Stay tuned, I am working to put on an event here in Southern Maine called The Edge and I'll be announcing details soon. I want to bring something to Southern Maine where people can come together and get healthier mentally and physically. Ever since the wrath of Covid I feel like we have all been running in quicksand. Time to start doing something about it. Mahatma Gandhi said "Be the change you wish to see in the world". I intend to be the example of the change and will be working to do my part in 2024. 

They say everyone has at least one book in them. 

The Edge. 

hmmmm 

I got Fired Today

You might be wondering why I would ever celebrate getting fired, but for me, as a coach, this is my favorite day. It's the day when someone says "Hey Bob, I think I've got this....". It's the day we get to talk about how far they have come, the day we get to reflect on where they started vs where they ARE. So today, I want to take you on a lighthearted and enlightening journey that reveals the essence of my coaching practice: working myself out of a job. So buckle up and let's dive in!

Embracing Change and Commitment:
When I connect with a new client, I ask for a minimum commitment of four months. Why? Because change takes time. I firmly believe that personal and business growth are processes that require dedication and patience. It's like planting a seed and nurturing it until it blossoms into something extraordinary.

The Goal: Independence and Empowerment:
While many coaches thrive on long-term partnerships, my ultimate goal is to empower my clients to become self-sufficient and independent. I'm not in the business of creating dependency; I'm here to help you spread your wings and soar to new heights. Think of me as your temporary co-pilot, guiding you through turbulence until you can pilot your own success.

The Value of a Coach:
Now, you might be wondering why you should even consider working with a coach if the aim is to "fire" them eventually. A coach brings invaluable perspective, expertise, and guidance to the table. They serve as your sounding board, accountability partner, and mentor, helping you navigate the tricky terrains of life and business. Sometimes, we all need that extra push and guidance, and that's where I come in.

Lighthearted Lessons Learned:
We have fun. Working with entrepreneurs is never a dull affair, and along the way, I've learned some lessons. From deciphering the cryptic language of startup jargon to celebrating small victories with a quick text or phone call, my coaching journey has been an enjoyable blend of seriousness and fun. I always try to share a relatable (sometimes funny) story that can help the client realize that they are not alone. After all, laughter is the fuel that keeps us going, isn't it?

Looking Ahead: Excited for New Adventures:
I want to take a moment to thank all my past clients for their trust and collaboration. I couldn't be prouder of their progress and newfound independence. And now, I'm thrilled to announce that I'm ready to take on new clients. Yes, you heard it right—I can't wait to get fired again! So if you're looking to ignite your entrepreneurial journey, level up your business, or make some changes in your life, let's embark on this exciting adventure together.

Remember, getting fired doesn't always mean a door closing. It can signify growth, progress, and the accomplishment of our shared goals. As a coach, my purpose is to guide, empower, motivate, inspire and eventually see you shine without my constant support. So, if you're ready to take charge, let's connect and make magic happen. I can't wait to get fired again!

Stay focused, stay inspired, and keep reaching for those summits.

Do Hard Things. 👊

https://linktr.ee/bobturner21

Unleashing Your Inner Power: Building Confidence and Self-Esteem

Someone called me arrogant. I laughed. Maybe that was arrogant of me. I don't know. I've always been pretty confident. And I've always said that there's a fine line between confidence and arrogance. I think the point where it makes the transition is where you can detect a lack of respect. I think that if you're highly confident, but you're respectful there's nothing wrong with that. Now, don't get me wrong, if you get me in a competitive situation, I talk more trash than Larry Bird did in the 80s but it comes from a place of fun and gamesmanship. I guess people that misread me would interpret that as arrogance. I don't spend a lot of time thinking about it, but it did spark my interest in this blog topic. I think a lot of people struggle with confidence and self-esteem. I feel like if you don't believe in yourself how can you expect someone else to? So much of what we are able to accomplish in life is rooted in how we feel about and speak to ourselves. I've been paying attention to that lately. If you're not careful, that kind of stuff can get away from you and you can talk to yourself right into a rut. I woke up at 3 AM today. Actually, it was 2:30 AM and I fought it for a while but then I threw in the towel and got up, hooked up the IV drip of coffee and started writing. I'll pay for it later today but for now, the creative juices are flowing.



I am loving Chat-GPT lately. I used to sit and try to dream up an idea for a blog. Then build out the framework and toil for hours over what to write and how to write it. Now I bark a few orders into my laptop, and it spits out some great bullet points for me that I can build around. If I had this tool in high school, I would've been the Valedictorian. I would've done that term paper when I was a Junior and not get thrown off the basketball team. But that's another story for another day. Lol. So here we go.

Unleashing Your Inner Power: Building Confidence and Self-Esteem

Let's get into it.

Confidence and self-esteem are vital components of personal well-being and success. They shape our interactions, decision-making, and overall outlook on life. However, for many individuals, building and maintaining a healthy level of confidence and self-esteem can be challenging. In this blog post, we will explore effective strategies and practical tips to boost confidence, build self-esteem, and develop a positive self-image. Let's embark on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. (Not Arrogance🫣)

Embrace Self-Acceptance:

Do YOU like YOU? The first step towards building confidence and self-esteem is embracing self-acceptance. Acknowledge your strengths, weaknesses, and imperfections. Embrace your uniqueness and realize that nobody is perfect. Remember that self-acceptance doesn't mean complacency, but rather a foundation for growth and self-improvement. Have you ever spent a significant time alone? From time to time I head up to my camp in northern Maine by myself. At first it was really strange, but I've grown to enjoy the time. Don't get me wrong, I love to have people around as well, but getting comfortable being by yourself is not a bad thing. Learn to like that person you are hanging out with - you.

Challenge Limiting Beliefs:

Identify and challenge the negative beliefs and self-doubt that hold you back. Replace self-defeating thoughts with positive affirmations. Reframe your inner dialogue and focus on your accomplishments and potential. Surround yourself with supportive and positive influences that reinforce your belief in yourself. One of the things I often ask my coaching clients when we run up against a limiting belief is "what would have to happen?" In other words, when someone feels as though they can't get to a certain level or are not worthy, I insert my question "what would have to happen in order to make that happen?". Things get REAL fast and we find out what the actual limit is in the limiting belief.

Set Meaningful Goals:

"I'm going to lose 50 pounds" vs "I'm going to lose 5 pounds and then I'll do that nine more times". Setting and achieving meaningful goals can significantly boost confidence and self-esteem. Start with small, attainable goals and gradually progress to more significant challenges. Celebrate each accomplishment along the way, as it reinforces your belief in your capabilities and strengthens your sense of achievement. Many people seek out an accountability, partner, or attempt to put the responsibility of attaining their goal on someone else. Before you do that, take some time and become accountable to yourself. Honor your commitment to yourself and your own well-being. Lastly, get specific. Instead of "I want to do a triathlon". Let's get more specific and say "I'm going to do a sprint distance triathlon on July 15th". Then go do it. 👊

Cultivate Self-Care:

Self-care is essential for nurturing confidence and self-esteem. Prioritize activities that promote physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Engage in regular exercise, eat nutritious foods, get sufficient sleep, and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Taking care of yourself sends a powerful message of self-worth and reinforces positive self-image. Be squared away. Do the little things that matter. I have made my bed for 2314 days in a row. Does it matter? It matters to me.

Surround Yourself with Supportive People:

Surround yourself with individuals who uplift and support you. Put some distance between you and those that don't. Seek out relationships that encourage your growth, provide constructive feedback, and believe in your potential. Distance yourself from toxic relationships that undermine your confidence and self-esteem. Join communities or support groups that share similar goals and values. I have created relationships with a bunch of great people over the past few years just by jumping into trade organizations or coaching groups. Get around the right people. You'll be amazed at the shift in your perspective.

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone:

Pushing beyond your comfort zone is a powerful catalyst for personal growth. Embrace new challenges and embrace the unknown. By stepping into unfamiliar territory, you'll discover hidden strengths and capabilities, which in turn, will enhance your confidence and self-esteem. It is said that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Take a look at your "five". Who are they? What are their habits? I've been doing some public speaking. Because of my years behind a microphone, it doesn't often make me nervous to get up in front of people, but it's still uncomfortable, and I still force myself to do it. Every time I do someone comes up to me and says that they are glad I did it, and they take something away from it. That fuels me to do more.

Celebrate Your Achievements:

Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Take time to reflect on your progress, and don't downplay your accomplishments. Celebrating milestones reinforces a positive self-image and reinforces your belief in your abilities. It can be a slippery slope to always be striving for more. There's nothing wrong with stepping back, taking a breath and sitting with your accomplishments for a few minutes from time to time. You're doing just fine. I've got a lot of medals from doing running races or triathlons. I never understood people that throw them in a box and forget about them. To me, they trigger great memories and are a representation of a lot of hard work. I hang mine up and sometimes when I'm struggling I take a look at them and realize that I'm doing alright. It's not a flex. Many of my friends have five times the amount of accomplishments that I do.

Practice Self-Compassion:

Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same level of care and understanding you would extend to a loved one. Accept that setbacks and failures are a natural part of life's journey and use them as opportunities for learning and growth. Cultivating self-compassion allows you to bounce back stronger and maintain a healthy sense of self-esteem. Respect yourself. You can't command the respect of others if you don't have a high level of respect for yourself. We would never speak to someone else the way we speak to ourselves with our inner dialogue. Recognize when you need to cut yourself some slack.

Continuous Learning and Personal Development:

Commit to lifelong learning and personal development. Expand your knowledge, acquire new skills, and pursue your passions. Engage in activities that challenge and inspire you, fostering a sense of purpose and accomplishment. The pursuit of personal growth fuels confidence and self-esteem. Do some things that scare you. We only get one trip around this track called life and none of us are getting out of here alive. Make an impact. One of the most interesting things to me about the personal development journey is that we are never done. There is always something else to work on and get a little bit better at. Another level to attain. Ask yourself how you're showing up for the people in your life. Could you be doing better? Give people your best. They deserve it.

Practice Gratitude:

Gratitude is a powerful practice that cultivates positivity and self-appreciation. Take time each day to reflect on the things you are grateful for, including your personal qualities, achievements, and the people who support you. Cultivating gratitude helps shift your focus from self-criticism to self-appreciation, enhancing your confidence and self esteem. Pay attention to where your energy goes. I've been focusing on that lately. One of my favorite sayings lately is "I don't have the bandwidth for that right now". It's a convenient way of saying that I am focusing on other things but it's also a safeguard that I'm not letting things in that don't deserve my headspace.

Get A Little More Selfish:

Did I just say that? Yes. I did. Don't be afraid to do some things for YOU. You don't need to be last. In fact, the more you make your own health and well-being your number one priority the better off you will be, and the more healthy you can show up for others. So is it really selfish? Or is it selfless? And in the end, the opinion you have of yourself is the one that matters most. It is cliché to say this, but what others think of you does not matter. It truly does not. Do what makes you happy, stand up a little bit straighter, walk a little bit taller. You're doing good things, and gosh darn it, people LIKE you! 🤪

Say "NO" more often:

What are you saying yes to? We all have a lot of demands on our time and energy. As we get older, have a family, develop a career, our time becomes more valuable. If we are in the habit of always saying yes to everything that is asked of us then it can become overwhelming. Ask yourself this, "when I say yes to things that don't deserve my time who pays the price?". If the answer is "my kids/family/friends/family, ME, etc." Then take a look at how often you are saying yes. It's OK to say no. Save those yeses for the right situations. Someone always pays the price when you say yes. Recognize who that is and it's a little bit easier to say no.

So there you go. A bunch of different ways to build self-esteem and confidence. It starts with you...
As for the arrogance comment... Well, I can kind of understand where that comes from. I've put myself out there in a big way over the past couple years. Videos for my contracting company. Shooting podcasts, starting a coaching company and going all in on social media with regard to building THAT, group, coaching, motivational speaking. YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, you name it. All in a pursuit of helping others. If that's the definition of arrogance, then sign me up. I GET that not everyone is going to like it. Feel free to scroll on by. 😉.

Enjoy your Friday. Go do something fun this weekend. Live your life. We only get ONE, don't waste it.

👊🔥❤️

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Limiting Beliefs and Imposter Syndrome

Limiting beliefs and Imposter Syndrome are two common challenges that can hold individuals back from reaching their full potential. Both can have an adverse effect on personal and professional growth, especially for entrepreneurs who are striving to build successful businesses. Over the past couple of years I have been kicking down walls and busting through ceilings. At times it was a wrestling match with both of these conditions. With some work, the battle can be won.

Limiting beliefs are negative thoughts and perceptions that we hold about ourselves and our abilities. These beliefs can be deeply ingrained and often stem from past experiences or societal conditioning. Some common examples of limiting beliefs include "I'm not good enough," "I don't have what it takes," or "I'm not worthy of success." 

To move past limiting beliefs and step into your true potential, there are several strategies that can be helpful:

1. Identify and challenge your limiting beliefs: Start by recognizing the negative thoughts and beliefs that are holding you back. Ask yourself whether they are really true and challenge them with evidence to the contrary. Sometimes these beliefs are just what you believe other people think of you.
2. Reframe your thinking: Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations and focus on your strengths and accomplishments. Visualize yourself succeeding and achieving your goals. What you focus on improves.
3. Take action: Break down your goals into smaller, achievable steps and take action towards them. Celebrate your successes along the way and use them as motivation to keep moving forward. Recognize that you ARE in fact moving the needle. 

Imposter Syndrome is a feeling of inadequacy or self-doubt, despite evidence of success and competence. It can cause individuals to question their abilities and accomplishments, and feel like a fraud. Imposter Syndrome is especially common among high-achieving individuals.

To eliminate or reduce Imposter Syndrome, there are several strategies that can be helpful:

1. Recognize and acknowledge your feelings: Start by acknowledging your feelings of self-doubt and imposter syndrome. Remember that it is a common experience and does not mean you are not capable or deserving of success. The first step is to just recognize and acknowledge these feelings.
2. Reframe your thinking: Instead of focusing on your perceived shortcomings, focus on your strengths and accomplishments. Recognize the skills and expertise you bring to the table. We get more of what we focus on.
3. Seek support and mentorship: Connect with others who have similar experiences or who can offer mentorship and guidance. Surround yourself with positive and supportive individuals who can help build your confidence. This one is huge. Having the right people in your life can make all the difference.

Limiting beliefs and Imposter Syndrome can have an adverse effect on the growth of a business for entrepreneurs. These negative beliefs can lead to self-sabotage and fear of taking risks. Entrepreneurs who are held back by limiting beliefs and Imposter Syndrome may struggle to take action towards their goals, miss out on opportunities, and ultimately fail to reach their full potential.

To overcome these challenges, it is important for entrepreneurs to recognize and address any negative beliefs or self-doubt that may be holding them back. By reframing their thinking, taking action towards their goals, and seeking support from others, entrepreneurs can overcome limiting beliefs and Imposter Syndrome and build successful businesses.

How are limiting beliefs and Imposter Syndrome holding you back personally and/or professionally? Are you ready to do the work to move past these hurdles and get to the next level?